Aziz Ansari was certainly famous in 2011, but he was not the big star he is today. And, clearly, he was not enough of a big shot for then-single Blake Lively, who after giving the comedian her number basically ignored all of his texts.
To be fair to Blake, though, Aziz’s texting game needs a little work. Check out the length of these messages. Dude, it’s not an essay contest. You just have to get in and get out.
Here is the full transcript of every text Ansari sent to Lively. The lack of responses—and increasingly desperate tone of the messages—is rather comical:
AA: Hey, it’s Aziz. The animal dinners are over now unfortunately, but I will show you photos I took from when I went. It was very tasty. Are you going to the Met Ball?
AA: Hey it’s Aziz. Please tell Karl [Lagerfeld] to call me, it’s been too long since we bro’d out
AA: I’m going to the Boom Boom Room for that after party. Hopefully this is your number? Either way, good seeing you
BL: Hey! Maybe I’ll see you. So weird, Karl was just saying how bummed he was to miss you
AA: We had a falling out a couple weeks ago when he stole a bowtie of mine. You here? Say hello before you leave
AA: I feel so bad you had to fly to North Carolina after that party, it must have been rough. Colin and I partied at Boom Boom Room until 7 AM, got tacos after, I just had a beautiful spa day. Next time we’re in the same city, let’s eat delicious food
Six months pass
AA: Happy holidays!
Three years pass
AA: Read these messages on Howard, hope that’s cool. Doubt you’ll respond to this
[via UPROXX]
