Usually when I read press releases about some already rich star making even more money off a book deal or something, I feel fairly green with envy and resentment—but not when it comes to Aziz Ansari. He's funny, he deserves every penny, and this news that he's just secured a $3.5 million book deal is actually one of the most exciting things we've heard all day. 

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Ansari has officially inked a deal with Penguin Press for his first book, and the deal, at a reported $3.5 million, is "likely ahead of such stars as Tina FeyAmy PoehlerMindy Kaling and B.J. Novak." That's a big deal, but one that doesn't seem so insane once you read this excerpt from the book proposal:

"You know when you text someone you're romantically interested in and you don't hear anything back and then you see them post a photo of a pizza on Instagram? That's exactly what I want this book to deal with. These are strange conundrums that no generation has ever faced before and it's a fascinating jumping off point for what I hope will be a very interesting book about modern courtship."

Further cementing its status as everyone's future new favorite book: It will reportedly "provide an investigation into what Ansari argues is an entirely new era for singles, in which the basic issues facing a single person -- whom we meet, how we meet them, and what happens next -- have been radically altered by new technologies." Considering Ansari plays Tom Haverford on Parks and Recreation, he definitely has some real insight into this:

Ansari will also be working with "noted academics" to further research the topic. The book is slated for publication in September, 2015.

[via The Hollywood Reporter]