Don't participate in any underwater activities if you're drunk. Otherwise, you risk losing your life. This nearly happened to Miami resident Richard Brandenburg, who attempted to help a woman who had accidentally dropped her keys into a sewer drain. Brandenburg, 49, explained that he worked in the sewers in the past and knew where her were probably located.

However, before jumping in, he had to go through a ritual—guzzling half a pint of rum to prepare him for the cold waters.

Brandenburg popped up twice to smoke cigarettes (who does that?), but failed to do so a third time, resulting in concern from on-lookers. Authorities were called, and discovered his body several feet away beneath a manhole. Police originally declared him dead, but fire rescue spokesman Capt. Adonis Garcia said he was revived and remains in critical condition at Mount Sinai Medical Center.

[via Gawker]