In the world of Apple retail, no position is more coveted than that of the "Genius." The laniard-bearing know-it-alls enjoy a vaunted status marked by far-reaching authority and a palpable air of mystique. The job is a little less mysterious today, though, since Gizmodo has acquired—and published key excerpts from— Apple's Official Genius Training Manual.

Among the more interesting insights gleaned from the manual, which is called a "Student Workbook," is that Geniuses are banned from saying certain negative words that might harsh the Apple Store vibe (and potentially open the company up to liability). For instance, Geniuses are forbidden to acknowledge that your computer has "frozen" or "crashed," instead, they're encouraged to use phrases like "stopped responding" or "unexpectedly quits." Other banned words include "bug" and even "problem."

In addition to being taught what words to say to customers, Apple Geniuses are also trained to read their emotional cues like a good therapist or boyfriend. The manual explains the meaning of certain "Nonverbal Gestures" like drumming on a table or placing a palm on the back of the neck that might mean a customer is bored or frustrated, respectively.

For a closer reading of the super secret Genius playbook head over to Gizmodo.

[via Gizmodo]