10. In a Book

Nobody reads anymore. Don't worry about it. Nobody read then either. Throughout human history, books have only been good for two things: impressing nerdy girls and, when hollowed out, storing booze. You can still do both of these things. This is why we recommend, rather than buying one of these tomes, you make one yourself. If you make your own booze book, you can tailor your choice to the anticipated crowd. Hanging out in Williamsburg? Maybe some David Foster Wallace is in order (Infinite Jest is certainly large enough, though a bit obvious). Spending your St. Pat's in Hoboken? Well, we're still trying to figure out the method for hollowing out a Speak & Spell. It's tough with all those microchips.