bulletstormEpic Games is answering the call for more descriptive ESRB rating information for their hilariously over-the-top upcoming FPS, Bulletstorm. While it may not be the kind of description video game critics were asking for, you can't argue at least you know what you're getting into:

This is a first-person shooter in which players assume the role of a space pirate who must escape a planet populated by mutant cannibals. Players use futuristic machine guns, shotguns, magnum revolvers, assault rifles, and chain guns to perform over-the-top kills that dismember and decapitate foes. Injured enemies emit large sprays of blood that stain the ground and surrounding walls. Specialty kills (i.e., Skillshots) represent the most intense instances of violence: enemies can be dismembered with explosives; impaled on spikes; and drilled into walls, resulting in body parts breaking into pieces. During the course of the game, players can consume alcohol and kill enemies in order to receive an Intoxicated Skillshot; the screen turns blurry during these sequences. The dialogue contains numerous jokes and comments that reference sexual acts, venereal diseases, and having sex with one's mother (e.g., "Guess I know where the ol' gal got that limp."). The names of some Skillshots are infused with sexual innuendo (e.g., Gag Reflex, Rear Entry, Drilldo, Mile High Club); one Skillshot (i.e., Fire in the Hole) allows players to shoot at enemies' exposed buttocks. Language such as "f**k," "sh*t," "p*ssy," and "c*ck" can be heard in dialogue.

Of course, the official warning will be bureaucratically stripped down to "Intense Violence" and "Strong Language." Because if the words "enemies' exposed buttocks" were actually printed on the box, negligent parents might think it was about sex, and then actually take interest in the images that were bombarding their kids. MESSAGE!

By Richie Procopio