We wonder why they call TV the "boob tube." It might make sense in Europe where all the shows and commercials are filled with exotic, topless women. But in the US, the only boobs we've ever seen on cable have been flabby man breasts during weigh-ins on The Biggest Loser. Maybe a better nickname for TV would be the "Christian values and censorship tube." Doesn't that have a nice ring to it? But despite all our complaining, we still love watching TV. Which is why we take the time to give you our Complex TV Picks...
DRAMA: JUSTIFIED, FX, 10 PM
• Finally, we've found a new, more badass version of Walker, Texas Ranger. Timothy Olyphant stars as Raylan, a modern day cowboy gangster; tonight he's on the hunt for an escaped convict. Violence and mayhem guaranteed.
SPORTS:SPORTS SOUP, VS., 11 PM
• We doubt you're in need of another late night talk-show, but just in case you're tired of your usual regimen, check out Matt Iseman's Sports Soup. It's like a cross between The Daily Show and Joel McHale's The Soup, and it's actually funny.
DOCUMENTARY: HOW MUCH IS YOUR DEAD BODY WORTH?, CNBC, 10 PM
• Selling blood and semen is alright if you need a little bit of pocket change. But if you're trying to make the really big bucks, it's time to start trafficking body parts. Tune in tonight to find out just how much your pesky neighbor's kidneys are really worth.
MOVIE: THE HILLS HAVE THIGHS, CINEMAX, MIDNIGHT
• It's pretty rare that we watch softcore movies in general, but it's even rarer that we watch them for the plot line and not the silicone twos. Sure, The Hills Have Thighs might never be nominated for any Academy Awards, but who needs the approval of the Screen Actors' Guild when you have ours instead?
DOCUMENTARY: HIGH IMPACT: M-16, HISTORY, 8 PM
• Just because we've spent countless hours playing Call Of Duty doesn't mean we totally understand how guns work. Tonight's episode of High Impact explains the inner-workings of the M-16. There's something we've always loved about shows that use cool computer graphics to explain technology we don't really get.
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