Usually it's "Florida man" who is making headlines with these types of stories, but don't ever sleep on Florida woman's ability to produce newsworthy nuggets from America's most penis-shaped state. Case in point: a woman in northwest Florida was really trying to let Jesus take the wheel this week when she closed her eyes while praying and also driving a car.
The result: she ran a stop sign, crossed through an intersection, drove over a yard, and crashed the car straight into a brick house in the small town of Mary Esther, according to nwfdailynews.
The 28-year-old woman straight up admitted to sheriff's deputies that she was praying at the time and had her eyes closed, the Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office told the website. The woman was given a ticket for reckless driving with property damage, and no injuries were reported.
In the grand scheme of things, crashing a car into a house while praying is definitely worse than getting your Jordans stolen while praying and is also far more confusing to the police. Of course, when the story hit the /nottheonion sub on Reddit, the commenters started going in.
"The most stunning fact is that she admitted to driving with her eyes closed. She could've easily claimed she had been blinded, startled by another driver or discovered a scorpion on her head rest. If you have such bad judgment to think that driving with your eyes closed is sensible, how can not also think that telling the cops about it is a good idea?," user BoojumG wrote.
User ToBeTakei responded: "In the south, 'well, officer, you see, I was praying when it happened,' can get you out of almost anything. ... Texting while driving, however, is explicitly illegal."