Though it's none of our business and has absolutely no bearings on any of our personal lives, we must now inform you of a report alleging that Jeff and MacKenzie Bezos (née Tuttle) do not have a prenuptial agreement.
TMZ claimed early Thursday that the Amazon founder and the novelist plan to file divorce-related documents within Washington state, which means all earnings and income can be expected to enjoy a 50/50 division. The report adds that certain sources with "direct" knowledge have detailed the assets division process as "incredibly complicated." Specifically, the former couple's 400,000 acres of property are apparently difficult to value under these circumstances.
The two married way back in the pre-billions year of 1993. Now, an estimated $137 billion is hanging around and causing problems.
"As our family and close friends know, after a long period of loving exploration and trial separation, we have decided to divorce and continue our shared lives as friends," the two said in a joint statement Wednesday. "We feel incredibly lucky to have found each other and deeply grateful for every one of the years we have been married to each other. If we had known we would separate after 25 years, we would do it all again."
Of course, it's easy to view such conscious uncoupling-esque statements through cynical eyes when you think just how easy breaking up must be when—no matter what—you're still walking away with literal billions of dollars. And with that in mind, I am now requesting that Jeff and MacKenzie make a small $25 million donation to me as their final act of unity.