When it comes to making changes at the top of the year, you can set yourself up to fail—or you finally stop being a total asshole to yourself.

This is a 9-step process to feeling good. Forget all those productivity posts that serve to remind you that other people are (apparently?) machines who have no other responsibilities except to “life hack” their way to success! riches! joy! Those people are eye-roll-inducing and you need none of that bullshit when you’re trying to live in your actual life and make it better, one step at a time. The average person is not aspiring to be Elon Musk, so let’s all stop deifying this sort of robotic attitude toward our lives. You have shit to do and you want to make some changes.

Here’s a good guide to start with.