So you want to stunt on them hoes in a $700 denim shirt, but you're scared you'll accidentally resonate Billy Ray Cyrus? Don't worry, homie. I see you. This chambray map pocket shirt by Garbstore is several miles away from the wardrobe of your Dad's favorite country singer-songwriter. At first glance I was admittedly a little unsure about the weird little polkadots, but then I peeped that half-kangaroo breast pocket thing and my qualms were completely fuckin' allayed.

Shouts to Nitty Gritty Store for their perpetually awful styling. There's nothing nitty or gritty about cheap khaki chinos, fam. Feel free to send me some free stuff though! Maybe I'll stop writing nasty things about you! Wait, is that blackmail? I don't care lol. You deserve it.

Moksha August is a serial Four Pins commenter turned writer. I guess you could say that he started from the bottom. Haha, that's the spot. You can follow him on Twitter here.