"Shurt Feelings" is an ongoing series in which we make fun of the dumbest T-shirts of the week.

Did you think Shurt Feelings was gonna just go away? Nah. I stay forever out here.

I do my best to bestow my distinct wisdoms with the various guides we publish, but, on some real talk, I truly LIVE to write Shurt Feelings. This feature comes directly from the other side of my brain that only deals with graphic graphic T-shirt slander. I never asked to be the king of the T-shirt slander game—it chose me. Whether I like it or not, I am slander's anointed son. All I know is that when I get the opportunity to son the shit out of terrible fucking tees the words pour out of me on some extra slanderous lava flows. I don't think. The concepts of time and place cease to exist and I connect with my inner godly being of slanderment.

Welcome back to Shurt Feelings. You know the drilly.

Skip Class is a writer living in Seattle. See more of his work here and follow him on Twitter here.