These aren’t just any friendship bracelets. These are vegetable dyed horse hair bracelets. Horse hair you say? Yup, it’s an ancient Andalusian art form bitch. Braided horsehair looks and is way fucking cooler than those "ethnic" beads and cotton friendship bracelets you bought on Canal. Don’t like me calling your cultural artifacts "friendship bracelets"? Well, get used to it because that’s what your boys are gonna call them when they find out how much you paid for them. Don’t worry, that money probably would’ve just gone to more Hot Pockets. To be honest, maintaining a proper Hot Pocket to fancy bracelet ratio in your lifestyle is the key to a balanced budget.