Team: Los Angeles Galaxy
Hateful lowlight: Taking a five-month sabbatical away from the Los Angeles Galaxy and the U.S. Men's National Team.
Landon "Landycakes" Donovan has never really relished his role as the de facto (with apologies to Clint Dempsey) best American soccer player. The United States' all-time leading goal scorer has failed to become the global icon that so many tipped him to be after being named the Best Young Player of the 2002 World Cup. Landycakes flamed out in the German Bundesliga twice, and only made a modest impression for Everton in the English Premier League. Donovan has carried Major League Soccer for a decade now, but his failures abroad, his public divorce, and his selfish sabbatical during World Cup qualifying have been spotlighted more than his accomplishments.