Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake
Years Active: 1977-Present
In February of 2004, he caused a brouhaha at the Downtown Crossing MBTA Station in Boston after leaving a bag of cocaine behind. A patron of the Beantown subway mistook it for anthrax and called it in, as a precaution the entire building was locked down. After admitting it was part of his pre-snort stash, Brutus checked into rehab. He also still cashes in on his celebrity. He's been involved with a number of small-time wrestling leagues (including a Christian one) and lost in the first round of a celebrity boxing tournament to a competitive eater.
He's also had to battle gay rumors from his friend Hulk Hogan's disrguntled gal Linda. Dude seriously, if you can't count on your best buddy in times of carnal need then what the hell can you count on him for!?