Once you're past the age of, say, 11, you should stop idolizing athletes. You look ridiculous wearing the jersey of a guy who is younger and wealthier than you are. When you put another grown man's name on your back, that man owns you. If you come across Phillip Rivers at Indigo Grill, don't grovel for an autograph. You'll look weak as fuck in front of your girlfriend. And, for the love of Based God, don't relegate your own face to the likeness of Mike Trout, Lance Armstrong, or Derrick Rose, it's a bad look (so to speak).