3. The Ligues
Roots For: White Sox, state fairs, settlement checks
Few franchises have had as woeful a history as the White Sox. Between "Disco Demolition Night," going 88 years between champions, and the 1919 Black Sox Scandal, it's a wonder the team hasn't been contracted yet.
The single most embarrassing event in the 112 year history of the organization occurred on September 19, 2002 when William Ligue Jr. and his vomitus teenage son rushed U.S. Cellular Field and pummeled Royals first base coach Tom Gamboa for no reason. Ligue's part-time accomplice, full-time dipshit son has grown up to realize his douche bag potential, recently posting pictures of the beating to his MySpace page with the caption, "ME AND DAD FUCKIN UP THA COACH FA THA KANSAS CITY ROYALS."