18. The "We're Cursed" Die-hard
Roots For: Cubs
Baseball is a game played by 'roided out twenty-somethings who basically spend three hours scratching themselves and spitting in the dirt. So, the die-hard's need to inject something spiritual into the proceedings. But to rationalize a century of sucking with being "cursed" is really fucking stupid.
The "Curse of the Billy Goat" comes from a guy being kicked out of Wrigley Field for bringing his pet goat. That, to us at least, seems like a perfectly legit reason to deny entry. The "Curse of the Black Cat" was just a stray cat running around Shea Stadium. That probably happens every night in filthy Queens. If there is some sort of holy, divine power we're pretty sure it doesn't give a flip about Cubs baseball.