President Barack Obama's final State of the Union address, which featured some top-shelf shade and the unfortunately grim presence of a lurking Paul Ryan, was largely deemed a triumph by both Twitter enthusiasts and political experts. However, according to esteemed statistician Jimmy Kimmel's best estimates, viewership among the most important demographic (people who aren't old) was down.
"This sort of thing just doesn't resonate with young people, I guess," Kimmel theorized. "They even tried showing the speech on Snapchat. I think they're missing the point." To combat this habit of purportedly "missing the point" in the future, Kimmel (free of charge) is offering a translation service that will turn any State of the Union address into a language even your obnoxious eight-year-old cousin can appreciate: emoji.
For a sampling of this technology, peep this: