A man who was pulled over with $250,000 worth of heroin in his car on Monday night provided authorities with the absolute worst story imaginable. 

Clifton, Va. resident Ronald Clifton Brown, 64, was stopped in Texas by a Jefferson County Sheriff's Office deputy for having an obscured license plate. When the deputy noticed how jittery Brown appeared, he asked where he was going. Brown explained that he was headed to back to Virginia after visiting an 86-year-old friend that was in a Houston hospital. When the deputy inquired about the specific hospital, Brown replied "Texas Children's." Game over

After Brown consented to a search of his vehicle, the deputy found a sack containing three kilos of heroin inside of three bundles wrapped in duct tape. 

Brown, already guilty of being a complete fucking idiot, was arrested and charged with possession of a controlled substance. 

[via 12 News]