Let's talk about the strangest track on Lil Wayne's new album I Am Not A Human Being II, "Romance." If you bought the album from iTunes, you may not have even heard it, as it was left off the track list. Our only guess is that Weezy was just as ambivalent about the song as we are.

After enduring ten albums of Wayne making more vagina puns than we thought the English language allowed for, Wayne tears out of his self-made constructs and comes out of left field about a song presumably about wooing women. He also makes baffling confessions about the way to his heart—kissing his sprained ankle, writing him cards, slow dancing, and holding hands? Who is this man, and what has he done with Wayne? 

But before you think the rapper most likely to liken an object to his penis has gone soft (ahem), consider what he purports to be romance. 

Here, we rate the actual romanticness of the many things Weezy claims "romance" is. He seemed confused about the definition of the word, so we cleared things up for him.

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