The 2010 release calendar had to sag sometime: after last week's Mass Effect 2 drop but before next week's showdown between Bioshock 2 and Dante's Inferno, this week's looking a little sparse. The only thing for the consoles is White Knight Chronicles for the PS3, and—wait, what? Maybe we're still a little hypersensitive after last week's 50 Most Racist Movies countdown, but it sounds like maybe the ol' naming department over at Level-5 could have used a Take-2. Not being the biggest JRPG fans, we don't exactly want to sink 100 hours into verifying that's not a Klan recruitment game, so we'll just give them the benefit of the doubt—but some of you other games aren't so lucky!
Over the years, plenty of you have gotten our dander up (just-in-case ayo!), intentionally or not, so we'd like to take this occasion to air you out. And if someone wants to let us know about WKC, please do. We'll be over here getting the last few achievements for Stomp That Ofay.
TITLE: Border Patrol (2006)
CONSOLE(S): PC (Flash)
COMPLEX SAYS: With some of these games you have to read between the
Confederate Flag stripeslines to suss out the racial connotations, but Border Patrol is, to use the clinical phrase, straight-up racist! The point-and-click shooter lets you—nay, compels you to—kill Mexicans trying to cross the border. We checked out the leaderboards, and not surprisingly, Lou Dobbs is running that shit.
TITLE: Custer's Revenge (1982)
CONSOLE(S): Atari 2600
COMPLEX SAYS: You play as General Custer, who—in the nude (and fully erect)—dodges arrows to get to a Native American women named "Revenge"... and then rapes her. Which we guess is a decent political allegory, but then shouldn't you play the woman named Revenge and proceed to savagely castrate Custer? Just saying.
TITLE: Ethnic Cleansing (2002)
COMPLEX SAYS: Developed by Resistance Records (as in "resistance to signing anyone who isn't a Neo-Nazi or a White supremacist band"), the game lets you play as a Klansman or skinhead in the quest to kill Latinos, Blacks, and Jews. Offensive? Clearly. But the fact that the game doesn't have "White Powerups," in some extremely conflicting way, makes us think that they missed an opportunity.
TITLE: Freaky Flyers (2003)
CONSOLE(S): PS2, Xbox, Game Cube
COMPLEX SAYS: We're fans of the title—cartoonish aerial racing games are awesome—but there was something about it that just... wasn't right. We can't quite put our finger on—wait, maybe it's because almost every character is a walking stereotype. Sammy Wasabi, a buck-toothed Japanese engineer who flies the Kamikaze Express? Sheik Abdul, an Arab oil gazillionaire who flies a magic carpet? Island Jack, a "native"? Really? THIS is why Americans can't have shit!
TITLE: Homie Rollerz (2008)
CONSOLE(S): Nintendo DS
COMPLEX SAYS: Yay, it's the Homi—wait, hold on, no one cares. While the Homies toys themselves were only slightly offensive in that quarter-prize size, now the fiesta continues in your Nintendo DS! What's the matter, homes? Ju' don't like the lowrider? How about the burrito on wheels?! No, seriously, there's a car that's a burrito on wheels. Ay dios mio!
TITLE: Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (2003)
CONSOLE(S): PS2, Xbox, Game Cube, PC, Game Boy Advance, Mobile Phones
COMPLEX SAYS: Disney is doing the Prince of Persia film (which explains Gyllenhaal as the Prince), but we're thinking they must have a Delorean, because the original game smacks of their traditional whitewashing. We're not saying it's intentional, we're just saying for a game set in India, the characters sound about as Indian as Stephen Curry.
TITLE: Punch-Out!! (1983)
CONSOLE(S): NES, SNES, Wii
COMPLEX SAYS: From the original internal meetings a Nintendo: "How can we make our game not look racist? Let's switch a Russian character named Vodka Drunkenski to Soda Popinski. But now what do we do about a Chinese character named Dragon Chan, an Indian Mystic named Great Tiger, and an Italian boxer named Pizza Pasta? Ah, fuck it, leave 'em in."
TITLE: Scribblenauts (2009)
CONSOLE(S): Nintendo DS
COMPLEX SAYS: Scribblenauts is cute and inventive and all, but somehow we're troubled by the fact that when you turn your black character into a god, he becomes white. Also peep the video below to see what happens when you write the word "Sambo" in the game's write-it-and-create-it mechanic (hint: a watermelon appears!). "Hey, man, that's a glitch!" No, man, that's fucked the fuck up.
TITLE: Street Fighter II (1992)
CONSOLE(S): SNES, Arcade
COMPLEX SAYS:Balrog. Dhalsim. Blanka. We're not sayin', we're just sayin'. Caricatures welcome!
TITLE: Donkey Kong (1981)
COMPLEX SAYS: *Prepares for the flames* Bring it. Mario is awesome, but he's also a huge stereotype. Big funny mustache, plumber, short and fat, likes money, and he jumps on "Goombas". Not to mention the fact that Donkey Kong kidnapping the princess smacks of some ol' Joseph Conrad-type shit. Just because it was in a movie doesn't make it okay!
CONSOLE(S): PS3, PSP, Playstation, Arcade
COMPLEX SAYS: Eddie Gordo was awesome, but a black dude who fights by breakdancing (capoeira schmapoeira, that's breakdancing!)? Law and Lei, who look like Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan? We love fighters, but y'all were Tekken an L on that one.