Manhattan's 40/40 Club, owned by Jay Z, is offering a Groupon. You should probably buy it.

New York nightclubs are expensive, and it's a rare opportunity that affords you bottle service and appetizers ("gourmet sliders and wings") for $270 in such luxurious company and high-calorie splendor: 

As sports action stampedes across four 165-inch video walls and more than 30 55-inch flat-screen monitors, fans dig into high-end American-style fare such as braised beef short ribs and colossal shrimp entrees. These are complemented by equally lavish libations—even if you’re not opting for bottle service, bartenders can mix specialty cocktails heavy on fruit-flavored vodkas and champagne or withdraw a bottle from an 18-foot-tall illuminated champagne tower.

If you're looking to further maximize the value of this deal, you could steal candles and embroidered cloth napkins and whatnot from the bathroom. That's if you're broke, like most music writers or anyone who lives above East 98th Street.

This is the opportunity of a lifetime, truly. Jay Z allegedly banned Cam'ron and the full Dipset roster from the 40/40 Club's DJ setlists. Note, however, that the explicit terms and conditions of this particular Groupon deal do not specifically prohibit the Diplomats from copping, arriving, and performing their songs live, on stage or on top of a few tables, possibly even featuring Beanie Sigel, who's fresh out the cage.

The 40/40 Groupon expires Dec. 1, 2014. Today.