Considering word immediately leaked that a brawl broke out during the taping of the Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta reunion, everything else feels secondary. It’s akin to this year’s VMAs: The brawl is Beyoncé and everyone else involved with the program is the de facto opening act. Even so, there were highlights during the pre-Beyoncé portion of the show—say, Nicki Minaj finally learning how to properly bounce that new piece of equipment – and the same goes for this show.
Most of them dealt with Lil’ Scrappy and his long running penchant of treating his relationships like a game of duck, duck, goose. At one point during the reunion, Scrappy reveals that he sometimes wonders whether or not he should be alone because he doesn’t feel like a good person. I don’t know Scrappy to know whether or not he’s a good person, though he does remind me of the trap equivalent of that homegirl you know who can’t ever go a day without having a man. That’s why he always looks to keep his options open. Hello, Erica P., The Bambi, and oh, you, too, Erica Dixon.
The Bambi and Erica P. continued the petty back and forth, but in all honesty, both can fall through a trap door. Erica P. is right to feel led on by Scrappy, but who does she think she’s fooling when she says she turned Scrappy down and he’s #madaboutit? Young Lady, your entire story arc with Scrappy can be summed up with the lyrics of Ginuwine’s “Pony.” Cut it out.
As for The Bambi, she described Erica P. as “an aspiring side chick,” only to be hit with the following reminder from Erica Dixon: “Why you so brass when you was quick to fuck him when we was engaged? You know what it’s like to be in her position.”
1.
Oops, upside ya head. Said oops upside ya head.
To be fair to The Bambi, if there’s anyone who knows what it is with Momma Dee’s heir (to the kingdom in her mind), it’s her. I suspect much of that has to do with the fact that being with Scrappy secures her airtime on VH1. After all, Basketball Wives LA producers didn’t want her back and mama can’t keep a steady club booking rate without a hit TV show to her Google search. And since her relationship with Benzino didn’t work, she gon’ get that work off Scrappy. Whatever works, Bam.
That said, I did see her face crack a lil’ bit after Erica Dixon noted that very recently, she and the father of her baby girl linked. Or as she put it, “Whose coochie was you eating?” Goodness, I love you, Erica Dixon.
Scrappy was asked to take a lie detector test, which he initially refused to participate in before ultimately giving in. The results were: He was lying. He ate Erica out. Erica had way too many details about it: She was outside playing Uno, drinking, and then the two went back inside to watch movies on her couch. Then he woke her up, pulled those panties down and made it rain, trick. What was Scrappy’s response? “I don’t recall that.”
2.
He didn’t recall the hotel hookup a week before the reunion taping either. He either has amnesia or needs to hit up an AA meeting. Or you know, just stop lying.
Following Scrappy’s romantic melodrama, we looked back on Kirk and Rasheeda’s less awful season. In sum, they’re okay. I like Rasheeda, but not enough to care for their marital problems anymore. Shout out to the Georgia Peach and her hair stylist, though, for their lovely tribute to “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka.
3.
Now, on to the crazy lady portion of the show starring Karlie Redd, Yung Joc, and his sidepiece woman, Khadiyah, or “plus-size Nivea” as I’ve thought of her all season long.
So by now we know that Karlie Redd is crazy as hell, but we did learn she’s a bit kookier than maybe some of us realized. As in, Karlie Redd will stalk you if she suspects you of cheating on her. She will perform fellatio on your index finger in a restaurant if she wants to keep you (we knew this, but it bears repeating). And apparently, according to Yung Joc, she will stand over you in bed in the middle of the night and jump on your ass if you piss her off enough.
Like, stand over you and howl, “I went through your whole fucking phone.” During Yung Joc’s reenactment of their bedroom pop off, Karlie didn’t flinch at all. She defiantly said, “That’s right, I did it.” Another: “That’s right, if you my man, I’mma go off on you.”
4.
Karlie, I love you like too much hot sauce on my catfish po’boy, we don’t condone abuse from either party in a relationship.
Karlie did note that after all this went down in her place, Joc begged to stay...and then they had sex. It must be that trick with her feet (instead of her hands) that keeps them coming back.
As for the big reveal – the brawl – all we got were mere seconds of the melee.
I was there, but I don’t want to piss Viacom off by saying too much too soon. See y’all next week for part two.
5.
P.S. The face says it all.
Michael Arceneaux is from the land of Beyoncé, but now lives in the city of Master Splinters. Follow him at @youngsinick.
