Winner: Beyoncé

So, it looks like we have a tie. But I have to give the decision to Beyoncé.

Why? Well, the Obamas and the Carters are apparently BFFs. Two super rich and super influential black families with Illuminati ties and daughters named after yoga poses. But if the Obama’s ever get divorced, and have to do that thing newly broken up couples do when they have to figure out who “keeps” particular mutual friends, the bigger fight will be over Beyoncé. Without her at his side, he never steps foot in the White House. Which matters more than the Sidekick.