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Fair or not, Houston has been, and likely for the foreseeable future will continue to be, seen from the outside as a caricature of itself. A hamfisted snapshot of its most commercially viable period, the 2005 MEGABOOM that turned Mike Jones, Paul Wall, Slim Thug and Chamillionaire into insta-folk heroes, has been stretched out into a gigantic billboard and planted right the fuck at every street leading into the city.
But Houston, like all of the proper rap cities, has a long and winding history; nearly a quarter century's worth of stories and characters and songs. There was the early era Miami bass-infused silliness, the '90s West Coast funk that conquered America, and, eventually, the brands/cultures/lifestyles that UGK and the Geto Boys created, which have served as the influence and inspiration for an untold number of Southern (and, as of late, northern, western and eastern) rappers.
We spent an unreasonable amount of time combing through the hallways of history, listening to everything from the adored and undeniable classics to the ultra-meta and rap nerdy. These are the 50 Best Houston Rap Songs that have ever been.
P.S. UGK is from Port Arthur, everyone knows that. They're included in this list though because they belong to Houston. Everyone knows that too.
Written by Shea Serrano (@SheaSerrano)
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50. Willie D "Bald Headed Hoes" (1989)
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Album: Controversy
Label: Rap-A-Lot
Producer: Willie Dee
While Scarface was always most effective when he examined the existential dread knotted to the tail of his own fate, and while Bushwick was most famous for his horrorcore swipes, Willie Dee (and eventually Willie D) was at his most transcendent when he focused all of his vehemence on one particular plot point. Here, he zones in on, well, bald headed hoes, clawing over and over again at them until all that's left is a great big hole of shame. I don't imagine Grace Jones has forgiven him yet.
49. Bun B f/ Lil' Keke "Draped Up" (2005)
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Album: Trill
Label: Rap-A-Lot, Asylum
Producer: Salih Williams
This track is so perfectly Houston, all wonky basslines and bluster, that people tend to forget this is the first official Bun B song presented solely as a Bun B song (it was the first single from his debut solo album, Trill). Which, even if it weren't any good (and it definitely is), means it is important beyond itself.
Sidebar: The chorus here is just a slice of a previously popular Houston rap song played over and over again. It's a style tactic woven firmly into Houston's rap culture.
Sidebar 2: The song starts with a teeny-tiny monologue from Lil' Keke, a Houston rap icon in his own right (he's on this list, to be sure). Clever because the aforementioned sample is swiped from DJ Screw's "Pimp Tha Pen," which features—you guessed it—Lil' Keke.
48. J-Dawg f/ Slim Thug "First 48" (2010)
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Album: Still Behind The Tint
Label: MTC
Producer: Cy Fyre
J-Dawg is likely the most dominant gangster rapper to have emerged from Houston since Trae and Z-Ro first started rumbling around in everyone's nightmares. He is uncommonly intimidating and monumentally mean-looking, two traits he multiplies by infinity on "First 48," which will almost certainly age to be one of Houston's most beloved gangsterdoms.
I watched J-Dawg open up for Jeezy (I think) a couple of years ago. When he did this song, OH MY GOD WHEN HE DID THIS SONG, it was unbelievable. It was like the entire place got plugged into the sun. People were jumping and screaming and the crowd was throbThrobTHROBBING. So much energy. As soon as it was over, he set the microphone down and walked off the stage. I don't know how many people died that night from the residual shrapnel, but I'd guess it to be somewhere around a billion.
47. Paul Wall f/ Big Pokey "Sittin' Sidewayz" (2005)
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Album: The People's Champ
Label: Swishahouse, Atlantic
Producer: Salih Williams
This is the first single from The Peoples Champ, the album Wall released when Houston sat atop the rap universe. Incidentally, it's also the best song from the album, handfuls and handfuls of southern charm glopped on over a cascading organ (or something organ-ish). It might not've been as ruthless as his work on Get Ya Mind Correct, the album he created with Chamillionaire and long considered his best music by rap nerds, but it was considerably more charming and marketable, and a lot of times that's more important.
Sidebar: "Sittin' Sidewayz" features a sample from DJ Screw's "June 27th," which features, among others, Big Pokey. Not an accident, to be sure.
Sidebar 2: Big Bank Take Little Bank, the game that Wall mentions in the second verse, is goddamn brutal. It's simple: You empty your pockets (and, should you have one, bag or even bags) of all of the monies. Your opponent does the same. Whoever has the most amount of money is deemed the Big Bank. He takes all of the money from the loser, Little Bank.
46. HAWK "You Already Know" (2002)
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Album: HAWK
Label: Game Face
Producer: Tenot
Big H.A.W.K. is arguably the most adored rapper in Houston history. He was* so likeable, in fact, that he managed to turn a positively ludicrous thesis statement—basically: "Look, I know I cheat on my wife with you, but you gotta chill with all of that Let's Be Together talk because that's silly, and, frankly, disrespectful to my relationship that I, myself, am disrespecting"—into an all-time great epistle.
*"Was" because he was murdered in 2006, an unsolved case that, as you might anticipate, still resonates profoundly in Houston.
45. Ganksta N-I-P "Horror Movie Rap" (1992)
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44. K-Rino "Cartoon Orgy" (1993)
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Album: Stories From The Black Book
Label: Electric City
Producer: K-Rino
K-Rino, spirit of the earth, is arguably the most dexterous lyricist in the history of all of the histories. There are no parameters, no borders for him when he raps. He has a song where he performs as a religious fanatic, an agnostic, and an atheist all at once. He has a song where he talks about walking through the levels of hell, only to get to the end and find out that he's simply just trapped inside of his own brain. And here, over the most famous section of Tom Tom Club's "Genius Of Love," he spends three minutes talking about the time he walked in on a cartoon orgy. Listen to it. Every single cartoon and cartoon character you can think of is in there, even Peter Pan, who traveled to the party with some freaks from Neverland. Because, duh.
43. Slim Thug "I Ain't Heard Of That" (2005)
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Album: Already Platinum
Label: Star Trak, Geffen
Producer: The Neptunes
After boss hogging his way around Houston for several years, Slim Thug, a preternaturally talented businessman, teamed with Pharrell for "I Ain't Heard Of That" (and most of his Already Platinum album, actually). It was a gorgeous mesh, Slim's close-to-the-earth flow the perfect counterpoint to Pharrell's spaceman production.
Sidebar: This album was years ahead of itself. When it came out, people weren't ready for it—specifically people in Houston. While Slim enjoyed acclaim in other parts of the country, he took a bit of a beating in his hometown, which he eventually addressed on "Bitch, I'm Back" ("Niggas looking at me like I lost my soul, 'cause I rapped with P [Pharrell] and not Mr. Lee [one of Houston's primary producers]") from his sophomore album, Boss of all Bosses.
42. Geto Boys "Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta" (1999)
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Album: Uncut Dope
Label: Rap-A-Lot, Priority
Producer: John Bido
No song ever made being a gangster more accessible than "Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta," a track that somehow stretched a small piece of Ripple's "A Funky Song" (1973) into a sunburnt ode to the idiosyncrasies of being tough guy living. Do you run fast? Not a gangster. Do you start fights? Not a gangster. Do you think? Yes, a gangster. Do you feed the poor and help out with their bills? Yes, a gangster. Do you read about rap music on the Internet, specifically on Complex.com? Yes, a gangster.
Sidebar: I think it was Scarface that said that last one. I can't remember. Don't go check though. YouTube probably removed that verse already.
41. Devin the Dude "Doobie Ashtray" (2001)
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Album: Just Tryin'ta Live
Label: Rap-A-Lot
Producer: DJ Premier
Just beautiful. BEAUTIFUL. Like, there's no other way to describe "Doobie Ashtray," five sing-song, horn-soaked minutes that rate among the most transcendent moments of Devin the Dude's career. It wheens and whines and winds and wobbles and probably, like, sixty other adjectives that start with "W."
Sidebar: This song samples funk singer Miriam Makeba's "Quit It," an equally inspired bit of musicianship that, ironically enough, is about trying to get someone that takes drugs and drinks alcohol to quit.
Sidebar 2: I interviewed Devin the Dude a couple of years ago. We met up a night club where he was having a get together to celebrate the release of the album he was working on at the time. I walked up to him, said, "Hey, I'm Shea. We spoke on the phone. We're supposed to interview." He said, "Yeah, aw, man. That's cool." Then he walked away and I didn't see him again for the rest of the night. It made me like him more.
40. Big Mike f/ Pimp C "Havin' Thangs" (1994)
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Album: Somethin' Serious
Label: Rap-A-Lot, Priority, EMI
Producer: Pimp C
Big Mike's secret: When he moved to Houston from Louisiana, he brought with him the sound of his home state, mixing it with bits and pieces of Texas to create a sound that, theretofore, had not been heard (E.S.G., another prominent Houston rapper, was able to create a similar familiar-but-still-unfamiliar aesthetic, though in an entirely different manner). It was fast but not too fast, swampy but not too swampy and anecdotal but not self-serving.
Sidebar: E.S.G. actually appears in the "Havin' Thangs" video.
Sidebar 2: Big Mike is probably most famous for burning down a Rap-A-Lot studio, which he did in retaliation after someone (who has never been identified) shot up his house.
39. Z-Ro "Too Many Niggaz" (2004)
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Album: The Life of Joseph W. McVey
Label: Rap-A-Lot
Producer: Solo
Z-Ro is, to be sure, a local rap deity. He is the ideal mash-up for an underground superhero; he is, at once, an angst-ridden soul, a sneak optimist and a dreary-eyed fatalist. And here, on the wispy "Too Many Niggaz," he combines all of the pieces together in a positively poetic manner, singing and rapping his end of the world charms with just enough user friendliness to satisfy the more hardened segment of his fan base and the novices all the same.
Sidebar: Despite having long been recognized as one of the best rappers in the city, specifically during 2004 and 2005 when he released The Life of Joseph W. McVey and Let The Truth Be Told, and then again with the release of Cocaine, Z-Ro somehow never managed to put together a national run. It's proof enough that God doesn't exist.
38. Street Military "Aggrivated Rasta" (1991)
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Album: Aggrivated Rasta
Label: Jeriod, Beatbox
Producer: Icy Hott
How in-the-know are Street Military, a five-man team of rappers + DJ that momentarily stopped the Earth from rotating when they released a six song EP called Aggrivated Rasta in 1998? THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE A WIKI PAGE, YO. Like, there's a whole wiki page about houses people build just to piss other people off (they're called Spite Houses, FYI) yet there's not one for Street Military. Craziness.
This track, which is the lead on the aforementioned EP, is a curious combo pack of street rap and Rastafarian wit. It's maybe the second most loveable song the group ever made ("I Don't Give A Damn" from 1999's Don't Give A Damn is the first), but it's the first best.
Sidebar: KB, one of the members in the group, became local famous for always carrying a ball python with him wherever he goes. A practice he still engages in today, last we spoke.
37. Trae f/ Pimp C & Big Hawk "Swang" (2006)
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Album: Restless
Label: Rap-A-Lot
Producer: Mr. Rogers
"Swang," the star-making single from 2006's Restless, is the haunting track that launched Trae towards regional acclaim and legend status locally. It is, in short, beautiful.
Sidebar: In the opening of H.A.W.K.'s verse, he raps, "I would give my last breath if I could bring you [rapper Fat Pat, his brother] back, bring Screw back, matter of fact bring the whole crew back." It'd go on to be the most depressing kind of prophetic; H.A.W.K. was killed shortly before Restless was released.
Sidebar 2: The original version featured a Michael Jackson sample.
36. Bun B f/ Jay-Z, Pimp C, Young Jeezy & Z-Ro "Get Throwed" (2005)
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Album: Trill
Label: Rap-A-Lot, Asylum
Producer: Mr. Lee
Few songs possess a more dominant, more imposing intro than the DOOHMH-DOOHMH-DOOHMH-DOOHMH, DOOHMH-DOOHMH-DOOHMH of “Get Throwed,” the monstrous third single from Bun B’s Trill. (It’s been sampled and covered several times, most effectively by Trae and Z-Ro with “Still Throwed.”) It marked the first time that Bun and Pimp recorded with Jay-Z since “Big Pimpin’,” the 2000 track that helped catapult UGK into fame.
Sidebar 1: UGK's first proper album came out in 1992 (Too Hard To Swallow). Bun B didn't release his first solo album, Trill, which this song appeared on, until 2005. THIRTEEN YEARS, yo.
Sidebar 2: The only time in the history of history that the archvillain Z-Ro was on the same song as Young Jay-Z (or any iteration of Jay-Z, for that matter). That's how I know there can't be a god in Heaven.
Sidebar 3: There was a video filmed for this song. However, Jay-Z is absent in it (Bun and Pimp spout mini verses in his place). Still, despite being Hova-less, there was an incredible amount of buzz surrounding it because it was the first video that Pimp C appeared in post-prison (best captured in the opening seconds of the web version of the official video).
35. SPM "I Must Be High" (2001)
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Album: Never Change
Label: Dopehouse, Universal
Producer: SPM
SPM spent the bulk of his career fluctuating the intonation of his voice, attempting to figure out what sound he had to make for himself to sound interesting without being hokey. On Never Change, his stellar album from 2001, he got the combination just right. "I Must Be High" is the best, most reflexive song he's ever made; just somber enough, just unfettered enough, just poetic enough to earn him a spot in the All-Time Best Houston Rappers conversation.
34. Geto Boys "I'm Not A Gentleman" (1995)
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Album: We Can't Be Stopped
Label: Rap-A-Lot, Priority
Producer: Willie D
Listed officially as a Geto Boys song, "I'm Not A Gentleman" is, and will forever remain, a Willie D song. In it, he pulls the legs off of chivalry, making maybe the most unintentionally effective, inspired, impassioned plea for equal rights that's ever been made.
Sidebar: "I'm Not A Gentleman" features a sample from Queen Latifah and Monie Love's "Ladies First." They had to find an actual record to lift it from. The intern working at the studio at the time, Matt Sonzala, found one for him. When Sonzala returned to the studio the next day, the studio had been trashed and the record, scratched to hell, was jammed between a wall and a mixing console. Willie D is the best.
33. Scarface f/ Devin the Dude, Tela & Too $hort "Fuck Faces" (1998)
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Album: My Homies
Label: Rap-A-Lot
Producer: Scarface & Mike Dean
From 1998's My Homies, "Fuck Faces," with a chorus sung perfectly by Devin the Dude, showed Face's ability to talk about being in love without ever talking about being in love. It is probably the lightest, most feathery song to feature someone comparing semen to "thick, white snot" that's ever been or will ever be.
Sidebar: In 2006, Scarface released My Homies Part 2. If you can only buy one, go with Part 1. It is far superior.
Sidebar 2: Ashanti sampled this song. ASHANTI SAMPLED A SONG CALLED "FUCK FACES."
32. Big Mello "Funkwichamind" (1994)
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Album: Wegonefunkwichamind
Label: Rap-A-Lot
Producer: Mike Dean
Big Mello was a devastating force in early '90s Houston rap, a two-way talent who split his time vacillating between Street Tough and Funk King. His 1992 album, Bone Hard Zaggin', is definitely his most seminal work, but "Funkwichamind," from his follow-up Wegonefunkwichamind, is far and away his best song. It's almost a byzantine complexity, how perfectly funky it is. In 2002, Mello crashed his car into a concrete pillar and died. The sun hasn't shone as brightly since.
Sidebar: Big Mello had a son before he died and his son, who goes by The Aspiring A.D.D., is a rapper in Houston too. He looks just like him. It's neat. And sad.
31. Lil' Flip "Game Over (Flip)" (2004)
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Album: U Gotta Feel Me
Label: Sucka Free, Sony Urban, Columbia
Producer: Nick Fury
This song, OH MY GOD THIS SONG, lead single to Flip's proper sophomore album, U Gotta Feel, was absolutely devastating. It was certainly one of the biggest Houston rap songs of the decade, and probably represented the tip of the spire of Flip's career. It was so good, in fact, that it very nearly negated the hapless single "Sunshine," a pop-rap track and transparent attempt to crossover that, in all likelihood, tugged on the first thread that eventually unraveled his national acclaim.
Sidebar: Everyone seems to know that this song contains several bleeps and bloops from Ms. Pac-Man, but did you know that it also includes a tiny bit from Mortal Kombat II? Fact. Also, one teeny-tiny tink sound is provided by a small Puerto Rican boy named Daniel Ruiz.
Sidebar 2: That's a lie about the Puerto Rican kid. Sry. :/
30. Pimp C "Top Notch Hoes" (1999)
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Album: 3re The Hardaway: Undaconstruction
Label: Dead Serious
Producer: Pimp C
"Top Notch Hoes" = Pimp C, maybe in a fur coat but probably in a silk robe, wandering around a brothel, flourishing his peacock feathers, urinating on everything so you know it's his, definitely wearing sunglasses and probably wearing a pinky ring and definitely calling that pinky ring a "panky rang."
Sidebar: This is listed as UGK song, but Pimp C is the only one that raps on it so we're calling it a Pimp C song.
29. OG Style "Catch 'Em Slipping" (1990)
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Album: I Know How to Play 'Em
Label: Rap-A-Lot
Producer: Big Boss
"Catch 'Em Slippin'" was the moderately successful (and thoroughly enjoyable) single from the 1991 album I Know How To Play 'Em, back during the halcyon days of Houston rap when almost everyone was adopting their styles from West Coast rap. Fun because it was boom-bap rap tinged with justbarelythismuch southern swang to it.
Sidebar: OG Style was a short-lived two-person group. Rapper Eric Woods, one half of it, kept the name when they split. It died with him in 2008.
28. Chamillionaire f/ Krayzie Bone "Ridin'" (2006)
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Album: The Sound of Revenge
Label: Chamillitary, Universal
Producer: Play-N-Skillz
YOU KNOW THIS SONG. It is, commercially anyway, the most successful Houston rap song in history. You know it. You know it.
Commercially, “Ridin’” was the tip of the 2005 Houston rap spire. It snagged a Grammy, sold millions of millions of ringtones (OH SHIT REMEMBER BUYING RINGTONES???), and, perhaps most importantly, served as the inspiration for Weird Al Yankovic’s “White and Nerdy,” perhaps the crowning musical achievement of the last decade.
Sidebar: Krayzie Bone’s verse here is unbelievably unforgettable here. He is swallowed up by Chamillionaire’s hypnot-hook and the nearly symphonic production (built from the ground up by Play-N-Skillz).
Sidebar 2: MTV stopped awarding a Best Rap Video at their music awards in 2006. The video for “Ridin’” is what won it that year.
Sidebar 3: If you go to YouTube and type in "Ridin' Dirty parody" and then watch more than two minutes worth of videos you'll want to kill yourself SUPER fast. Here's the very worst.
27. Fat Pat "Tops Drop" (1998)
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Album: Ghetto Dreams
Label: Wrechshop
Producer: Slash
Fat Pat was to have been the S.U.C.'s breakout star, and this song, gorgeous and lush and ready-made for summertime immortality, crystallized that fact. It was a perfect snapshot of the era, and has only grown more and more important as Earth moves further and further away from its release. Sadly, it will only ever serve as a memorandum on potentiality; Fat Pat was murdered a month before his debut was released.
Sidebar: The S.U.C., or Screwed Up Click, otherwise known as Soldiers United 4 Cash, was the collection of rappers and rapper friends that DJ Screw founded. Together, they effectively ran all of underground rap on the south side of Houston.
26. Yungstar f/ Lil' Flex "Knocking Pictures Off Da Wall" (2000)
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Album: Throwed Yung Playa
Label: Screwed Up
Producer: Burt Bacharach, Hal David
"Knockin' Pictures Off The Wall" was the multiplier to Yungstar's verse on Lil Troy's "Wanna Be A Ball" that fully established him as a Houston titan (albeit for only a brief amount of time). The slow-brew production played sturdy back-up to his tightly wound, backwoods country voice, the juxtaposition creating a unique brand of authenticity that made even the most ordinary lines ("eatin' scrambled eggs and toast") sound gargantuan.
25. Big Moe f/ Ronnetta Spencer "Barre Baby" (2000)
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Album: City of Syrup
Label: Wrechshop
Producer: Big Moe, Wreckshop Family
While his "Purple Stuff" song was the first to earn him significant attention outside of Houston (that's the one with the hella creepy video that had the Oompa Loompas and the guy spinning a fire stick while wearing a purple unitard and whatnot), "Barre Baby" was the song that catapulted Moe's massive frame into the spotlight locally. It is wonky and molasses slow and basically exactly as it should've been. Moe, in all of his adenoidal glory, was transcendent on it.
Sidebar: The girl child singing the hook on this is named Ronnetta Spencer, who, if I'm not mistaken, is daughter to Ronnie Spencer, a gifted singer most famous for his work singing on the hook of UGK's One Day." Ronnetta actually still pops up on songs here and there. This is her as a kid performing with Big Moe. Here she is singing on YouTube two years ago.
24. Geto Boys "Six Feet Deep" (1993)
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Album: Till Death Do Us Part
Label: Rap-A-Lot
Producer: N.O. Joe
Slow-mo agony here; an anecdotal account of a senseless murder that's really about mores and society and the class system. Geto Boys were mean when they wanted to be mean, aggressively funny when they wanted to be funny, and schizophrenic when they wanted to be crazy. Here, they wanted to be insightful and heartbreaking, and they were both to great effect.
23. Paul Wall & Chamillionaire "N Luv With My Money" (2003)
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Album: Get Ya Mind Correct
Label: Paid In Full
Producer: Lee
"N Luv Wit My Money" was the best moment from Paul and Cham's Get Ya Mind Correct, a Top 20 Houston rap album. On it, Cham is his typically extra-assertive self, spitting venom and chomping at fingers for the entirety of his parts, with Wall, still in the infancy of his Oh So Houston shtick, matching his tenacity. Examined out of context, the song's treatise isn't anything especially poignant ("look at all of the money, because it's a lot, it's so much actually that you should definitely look at it because it's a lot so look at it already"), but this song should only ever be examined in context: A seemingly nerdy black guy and a seemingly awkward white guy flourished so heartily in Houston's mercilessly predatory rap battle system that one was able to buy a car that hadn't even been invented yet, and the other drew the admiration of a circus on account of how ridiculously loud the speakers in his trunk were.
22. Bushwick Bill "Ever So Clear" (1992)
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Album: Little Big Man
Label: Priority, Rap-A-Lot
Producer: James H. Smith, John Bido
The cover the Geto Boys' 1991 album, We Can't Be Stopped, is one of the most iconic images in rap history. On it, Bushwick, having sustained a gunshot wound to his goddamn eyeball, is on a bed being wheeled down a hospital hallway, Scarface and Willie D at his side. "Ever So Clear" is a recounting of how it was that that happened (basically, he attempted to force his girlfriend to shoot him because he thought it'd be better than shooting her). There are no tricks or flourishes or garish claims (which is generally how Bushwick earned his ducats); it's just Bill talk-rapping the experience. Never in his career did he sound more high-minded.
21. Lil' O f/ Big Hawk "Back Back" (2001)
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Album: Da Fat Rat Wit Da Cheeze
Label: Atlantic
Producer: Blue
The dimunitive Lil' O conquered all of Houston when he hyper-accelerated shit-talking on "Back, Back," from his 2001 very-nearly-a-local-classic album Da Fat Rat Wit Da Cheese. O was brazen and ballsy and mouthy for most all of his career (still making music and earning a moderate amount of radio play in town today, BTW), but here, amid the flurry of tinks and thumps, he added a just a dash of silliness, hinting that he was (and, by association, we were) in on the on the joke. It was a devastating multiplier, and lifted O from out of the He Probably Won't Pop Nationally but He's Someone We Can Count on for a Good Song or Two Per Year rating and into the This Guy Is Definitely Going to Die as a Goddamn Houston Folk Hero designation.
20. DJ Screw f/ Lil' Keke "Pimp Tha Pen" (1995)
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Album: 3 'N The Mornin' (Part Two)
Label: Big Tyme
Producer: DJ Screw
Miniscule in comparison to its counterpoint in the DJ Screw universe (the nearly 36-minute-long "June 27th"), pieces of Keke's verse on "Pimp Tha Pen" have lived on as the spine of an untold number of Houston rap songs (Bun's "Draped Up," Paul's "They Don't Know," A.B.N.'s "Who's The Man," x INFINITY).
Sidebar: "Pimp Tha Pen" actually appeared on DJ Screw's 3 'N Tha Mornin' Part 2, which was legitimately distributed in 1995 by Big Tyme Records. It is unendingly superior to Part 1. Part 1 is the Danny DeVito to Part 2's Schwarzenegger. Raise your hand if you were expecting this blurb to include a Twins reference.
Sidebar 2: If you raised your hand then you're a liar.
19. ABN "No Help" (2008)
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Album: It Is What It Is
Label: Rap-A-Lot
Producer: Q-Stone
Trae and Z-Ro have an untold number of songs their fans cherish, but none are as highly considered or more worshipped than the magnanimous "No Help," which first appeared on their mighty It Is What It Is album. Were this a list simply ranking choruses, this might sneak its way all the way up into the top 3.
Sidebar: This is a redo of Z-Ro's symphonic "One Deep," a track that features a chorus of Z-Ro's singing and shares the exact same ideology of "No Help."
18. 5th Ward Boyz f/ Willie D & Devin the Dude "Pussy, Weed and Alcohol" (1997)
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Album: Usual Suspects
Label: Rap-A-Lot, Virgin
Producer: Mr. Lee
The first four words of this song: "Pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy." That's basically all you'd ever need to know about the 5th Ward Boyz, a trio of rappers from—you guessed it—Houston's 5th Ward. And really, that's all anybody ever did know about them: This song, while certainly cherished by Houston rap nerds and longtime Houston rap stalwarts alike, is the end-all for the 5th Ward Boyz.
17. UGK "Diamonds & Wood" (1996)
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Album: Ridin' Dirty
Label: Jive
Producer: N.O. Joe & Pimp C
"Diamonds & Wood," a squish of cigarette smoke and bass lines, is perhaps the most underrated UGK song that's ever been. Pimp and Bun put a foot on your throat and a foot on your chest and that's that. FYL.
Sidebar: This is from Ridin' Dirty. On the cover of their debut album, Bun is squatted down while Pimp C stands over him. On the cover of their sophomore effort, Bun and Pimp are positioned evenly. But here, on their third, Bun is positioned prominently. This is the exact same pattern that takes place if you were to rate their performances on each (Pimp won the first one, they tied for the second, and Bun, fully vetted, won the third). I don't know if they planned all of that or even considered any of it, but it's definitely fun to think about.
16. Lil' Flip "The Way We Ball" (2002)
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Album: Undaground Legend
Label: Loud
Producer: Lil' Flip
Most everyone remembers that big Houston rap boom of 2005, with Paul Wall, Mike Jones, Slim Thug, and Chamillionaire becomingly very-near-overnight national sensations. What most seem to forget is that Lil Flip and his braids had gained substantial national attention a full three years prior, with "This Is The Way We Ball" acting as the catalyst for the legitimization of the baby crack rap genre that Flip perfected.
Sidebar: On Flip's first proper tape, 2000's The Leprechaun, he wore a leprechaun outfit (WITH THE FUCKING HAT TOO) and stood next to a bowl of cereal, parodying the front of a box of Lucky Charms. I'm not sure he's lived it down yet.
15. UGK f/ OutKast "Int'l Player's Anthem (I Choose You)" (2007)
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Album: Underground Kingz
Label: Zomba
Producer: DJ Paul & Juicy J
Maybe (probably) (definitely) the greatest collaboration in all of Southern rap: A sparkling opening verse from Andre 3000, Pimp C in his most inspired pimp role, the ever sturdy Bun B playing the cut-off man, Big Boi's understated brilliance and airtight production from Three Six Mafia. This song will only grow in lore.
14. Fat Pat "Ghetto Dreams" (1997)
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Album: Ghetto Dreams
Label: Wrechshop
Producer: Platinum Soul Productions
Few rappers in Houston were as beloved as the gargantuanly likeable Fat Pat. His voice, wide as a country road, washed over tracks, operating almost as an aural hug of sorts. This track operated as one of the load-bearing beams (along with "Body Rock" and the iconic "Tops Drop") from his debut album, Ghetto Dreams.
Sidebar: Both Pat and his brother, fellow rapper and fellow S.U.C. member Big H.A.W.K., were gunned down before they were able to realize their stardom.
13. UGK "Murder" (1996)
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Album: Ridin' Dirty
Label: Jive
Producer: N.O. Joe, Pimp C
Bun B's verse on "Murder" (from 1996's Ridin' Dirty), is, in no uncertain terms, the greatest verse in Southern rap history. It's like if a lightning bolt struck you rightthefuck in the forehead, that's what it feels like. It's like that video where they pay that kid $100 to let Kimbo Slice death tackle him, that's what it feels like. It's like if you let Paul Bunyan hit you in the chest with a MEGASLEDGEHAMMER, that's what it feels like. It's like that Deandre Jordan dunk on Brandon Knight but if Knight exploded into a million tiny bits of light, that's what it feels like. I'm saying, Bun B says "jelly" and "nunchuckas" and it's not even a little bit ridiculous, yo.
12. Devin the Dude "Lacville '79" (2002)
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Album: Just Tryin' ta Live
Label: Rap-A-Lot
Producer: Devin the Dude
A quarter of the way into the first voice here, Devin coos, "And I go about 47 in a 55." It's an apt metaphor for his uniquely ethereal reality. Devin, Houston's long-reigning oddball genius, has only ever appeared interested in floating through the universe for the sake of floating through the universe, his sly brand of rap existentialism disguised in bathroom humor punchlines and stoner euphemisms. Here, with "Lacville '79," he spends four minutes lamenting (and loving) an old car, while actually talking about a million other unspoken things (most obviously: the universality of Marxism).
11. Scarface "I Never Seen a Man Cry" (1994)
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Album: The Diary
Label: Rap-A-Lot, Noo Trybe
Producer: Brad Jordan, Mike Dean
Unanimously considered to be on the greatest rappers of all-time list, Scarface flexed a superheroic amount of might on "Never Seen A Man Cry," an endlessly smart/dark bit of commentary on urban life. 'Face always sounded big on tracks, but here his voice boomed in the most massive way possible (which he somehow managed without ever raising it above his standard speaking volume). It sounded like it was descending from the heavens on everything and everyone all at once, which is probably the closest to proof any of us will ever have that he's some sort of demigod.
10. Lil' Troy f/ Yungstar & Fat Pat "Wanna Be A Baller" (1998)
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Album: Sittin' Fat Down South
Label: Universal, Short Stop
Producer: Bruce "Grim" Rhodes
Lil' Troy's herculean "Wanna Be A Baller" transformed a sliver of Prince's timelessly classy "Little Red Corvette" into an unstoppably loveable treatise for the underprivileged. It single-handedly carried the album it appeared on to an RIAA Platinum rating, a fact made all the more remarkable when you consider that Scarface was the only other solo rapper from Houston to have an album go platinum before 2002 (1994's Untouchable and 1997's The Diary).
9. Lil' Keke "Southside" (1997)
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Album: Don't Mess Wit Texas
Label: Jam Down
Producer: Double D
An uncommonly catchy dance track disguised as a hood-repping anthem that solidified Keke's status as local legend and earned him lifetime immunity from impeachment. The dance that accompanies "Southside," wherein you place your knees together and move them in unison out and in from left to right while your hands either move in the opposite or, if you're feeling especially moved, cover your face as you body rock, is still to this very day done at clubs and parties in town.
Sidebar: Keke looks today as he did 20 years ago. His skin is fresh and clear and clean. It's remarkable, really.
Sidebar 2: I interviewed Keke at his house once. When I arrived, he was watching a basketball game with another guy, partaking in various mind-lifting activities. Halfway through the interview he got a phone call. He immediately got up, collected all of the drink and smoke accessories, bundled them together and then placed them in a cabinet in the kitchen. When asked what was going on, he said that one of his sons was about to be dropped off. Love.
8. Z-Ro "Mo' City Don (Freestyle)" (2005)
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Album: Let The Truth Be Told
Label: Asylem, Rap-A-Lot
Producer: Z-Ro
The "Mo City Don Freestyle," as beloved a song as exists in Houston, is the opener to Z-Ro's ninth(!!) album and likely the purest display of his rap acumen. It's the second (maybe third) most famous freestyle in the city's history (definitely behind "June 27th" and maybe-but-probably-not behind "Pimp Tha Pen"); four minutes of rolling thunder, a relentless and inescapably brilliant exercise in meditative rap. It is, to be clear, to be classified within his Masterwork category.
7. ESG "Swangin' and Bangin'" (1995)
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Album: Sailin' Da South
Label: Priority, Perrion
Producer: Sean "Solo" Jemison
While he's famous most recently for his contributions to Drake's work (who sampled two E.S.G. songs on Take Care, this one, which was used to build "HYFR," included), E.S.G. has long been a Southern king. This song, this glorious bit of marksmanship, was the spine of his 1994 album Ocean of Funk. It remains the most substantial work of E.S.G.'s career for two reasons: 1. It kicks a megaton of ass, and 2. It appeared on OoF twice, once in regular speed at the back (track number 14) and once slowed down at the front (track number 2), making OoF the first nationally distributed album to prominently feature chopped and screwed music.
6. Mike Jones f/ Slim Thug & Paul Wall "Still Tippin'" (2004)
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Album: Who Is Mike Jones?
Label: Asylum, Swishahouse, Warner Bros.
Producer: Salih Williams
Despite Chamillionaire's "Ridin' Dirty" earning the Grammy and selling a trillion copies, Mike Jones's "Still Tippin'" was, in all likelihood, the defining song of the 2005 Houston KAAAABOOOOM. From Thugga's gangsterisms to Paul's similes to Mike's inexorable rap charm to the rubbery violin strings (lifted from an MF'n overture), this song was perfectly crafted and executed.
Sidebar: "Still Tippin'" first appeared on SwishaHouse's label compilation tape, The Day Hell Broke Loose Vol. 2. Crazy to think about: Not including the intro and the skit, that album was 13 songs long and Mike Jones WAS FEATURED ON 13 of them. Fair to say Michael Watts and OG Ron C, founders of SwishaHouse, had an inkling that Jones was about to pop nationally.
5. DJ DMD f/ Lil' Keke & Fat Pat "25 Lighters" (1999)
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Album: Twenty-Two: P.A. World Wide
Label: Inner Soul
Producer: DJ DMD
Often attributed to Fat Pat (or sometimes even Lil Keke), "25 Lighters" is the massive one-off from DJ DMD. Perhaps the most unintentionally intriguing part of the song is the byzantine and seemingly nonsensical chorus ("I got 25 lighters on my dresser, yes, sir, I gotsa get paid"). Turns out, it's exactly that. When asked what the correlation was between the number of lighters one has on one's dresser and the money that that particular person is in need of, Lil Keke responded, "Nothing. That [the line] was from two different songs that we just put together."
Sidebar: DJ DMD has grabbed relevance again in Houston as a non-secular rapper. He actually has a song out now called "25 Bibles On My Dresser," a surprisingly likeable redo ("I got 25 bibles on my dresser, yes, sir, I gotsa get saved"). I'm quite certain Jesus raps Keke's part in Heaven. (Fat Pat raps his own role, I'm sure. Not even God could've delivered it as magnanimously.)
4. Scarface "Mr. Scarface" (1991)
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Album: Mr. Scarface Is Back
Label: Rap-A-Lot
Producer: Crazy C
How good is Scarface? So good that the very first song from his very first album moved the continents and erupted the volcanoes without even really trying to, that's how good. Scarface was carved out of Houston's hard firmament, his otherworldly talent preordained by the cosmos. And this, THIS MEGASTORM OF TENACITY, displayed, above all else, his ability to package up the entirety of the pathos of the disenfranchised and present it with an alarming ease.
Sidebar: The very first words he raps: "I don't give a fuck about the chatter in the background." That seems extra prophetic.
3. DJ Screw "June 27" (2004)
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Album: Chapter 012
Label: Screwed Up Click
Producer: The DJ Screw Foundation
DJ Screw has aged in death to be among the very most influential Southern rap artists, and this, this four mile-wide stretch of music history, is the most perfect bit of perfection that he ever offered. It featured seven different rappers (Big Moe, Key-C, Yungstar, Big Pokey, Haircut Joe, D-Mo, Kay-Luv) and lasted nearly 36 minutes, yet, somehow, never felt stale or like it lingered.
Sidebar: This song samples Kris Kross's "Da Streets Ain't Right," which itself samples Biggie's "Warning," who himself famously rapped, "Not from Houston, but I rap a lot," a nod to Houston's Rap-A-Lot record label.
2. UGK f/ Mr. 3-2 & Ronnie Spencer "One Day" (1996)
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Album: Ridin' Dirty
Label: Jive
Producer: Pimp C
The best song from 1996's Ridin' Dirty, probably the greatest Houston rap album of all (Geto Boys' beautifully aggressive We Can't Be Stopped is the only project that can legitimately stare it down) and arguably the greatest Southern rap album in history. Never in their careers were Bun B or Pimp C more poignant or insightful than within the constructs of this song's premise, and never was the revisiting of a track more heartbreakingly prophetic than with this one after Pimp C's passing eleven years later.
Sidebar: Many people mistakenly identify the singer here as an Isley Brother. It's actually Ronnie Spencer, a decidedly Isley Brothers-esque singer who appeared on plenty of Houston rap songs in the 1990s (and continues to sing on tracks today). This is made slightly more confusing because, a) one of the Isley Brothers is named Ronnie, and b) "One Day" actually samples The Isley Brothers' 1974 track "Ain't I Been Good To You."
1. Geto Boys "Mind Playing Tricks on Me" (1991)
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Album: We Can't Be Stopped
Label: Rap-A-Lot, Priority
Producer: John Okuribido
There have been several incarnations of the Geto Boys, but the best, most inspired version was Willie D + Scarface + Bushwick Bill. Together, they clawed at the roof of America's mouth, revealing an inner city dystopia in their raps that was unflinching in its presentation. "Mind Playing Tricks On Me" is their schizophrenic masterpiece, a five-minute glimpse inside the unsteady and violent brains of each member of the trio. It is haunting and beautiful and masterfully composed and mixed. Put simply: There are no moments in it that are not perfect.