The Person Who Hates the Music Industry
The glory days of the record business are long over, and this person will be sure to let you know that. Multiple times. All night long. BeyoncĂ© could be pussy popping on a handstand six meters in front of them and they'll still find a way to tell you how the game was so much better a decade ago.
Apparently, back then, everyone was paid better, cocaine was far more present, and the Perry Ellis tracksuit they're wearing was an acceptable form of attire. During their heyday, the music was hotter and none of your current cavorts will ever compare.
This person is mostly bitter because they haven't had sex in 11 months, but they'll never admit that.