With Valentine's Day now close enough to inspire acute anxiety in the hearts of procrastinators all over the world, now is probably the perfect time for everyone to start openly discussing the most delightfully strange objects with which they've had a sexual encounter or two or three.

The artful porn scientists over at WoodRocket, in celebration of that aforementioned Valentine's Day ridiculousness, decided to gather a panel of adult film stars to speak candidly about the weirdest makeshift sex objects they've ever used to help them get to the finish line.

Thankfully, this enlightening discussion is tremendously good news for anyone who's ever pleasured themselves with the assistance of cucumbers, wine bottles, or (not making this up) a dog bone covered with a condom. However, as with any true moment of enlightenment, this discussion also sparks an entirely new debate:

Does getting fucked by a clown count as a "weird object?"