Address: 407 East 6th St.

“Hey mom, yeah, tonight I’m totally gonna head over to The Library. Yeah, I know it’s 11:00 at night, but that’s the kind of awesome son I am. I’m gonna get so dru-- I mean, read so many books, and try to bang a slutty... uh... Hey, look! Is that the Dewey Decimal System? Bye mom! Love you!” This sad phone call is regurgitated by the patrons of this bar nightly. When it's not being used as a second-rate coverup, aging skirt-chasers use it to bait laughs and college women. Word on the streets is, sometimes it works. Our heads will never stop shaking.