Three Indian doctors revealed the absolute worst of what sex can do to you in a report published in early May. The British Medical Journal report, which contains illustrations that should not be viewed by the faint of heart (seriously, don't click on that link...), includes a very specific description of a truly horrific penis injury that the doctors have dubbed an "eggplant deformity." And they're not talking about the emoji. A warning before you continue: Simply reading about what the doctors discovered when they evaluated a patient recently may elicit actual discomfort in the groin area.
Still with us? Don't say we didn't warn you.
"He had severe pain and lost tumescence with a snapping sound during vigorous sexual intercourse," the report says, while describing the injury a 32-year-old man suffered in great detail and pointing out that he sustained a penile fracture.
"Penile fracture occurs when an erect penis undergoes a blunt trauma during sexual intercourse or otherwise," the authors explain. In their paper, they concluded that people who come to the ER with penis injuries should be tested for penile fracture immediately since it needs to be treated as soon as possible.
"In medical literature, incidence of penile fracture is very rare," Sahil Gupta, one of the doctors presented with the case at All India Institute of Medical Sciences, told Complex. "But in my opinion, it is underreported because of embarrassment and social stigma associated with the injury. In fact, the incidence is increasing due to people trying overzealous sex and unconventional sexual positions."
If this Reddit thread is to be believed, he's right in that penis injuries are far from rare and that they often go untreated due to embarrassment. "My girlfriend and I were going at it, and we both moved in a way suddenly so that I slid out and hit her thigh straight on rather quickly," one Redditor wrote. He didn't see anyone about it until two weeks of being unable to get an erection.
"I was on top, and fell out, and was way too eager, and she tensed up, stretching the foreskin," another Redditor, who ripped his frenulum, said.
"I had my dick snapped by way of 'reverse cowgirl,'" said a third Redditor. "I heard quite a loud crack and it was quite painful. I never saw a doctor or anything about it."
In case you're worried about suffering such an injury yourself, Gupta recommends "being careful during vigorous sex" and going to the doctor ASAP if you experience "sudden pain or rapid detumescence during sex."
There's some other science-based advice that might help you avoid this dreaded situation, too. According to a 2014 Brazilian study, missionary is the safest position for your junk, while cowgirl is the riskiest. “Our hypothesis is that when woman [sic] is on top, she usually controls the movement with her entire body weight landing on the erect penis, not being able to interrupt it when the penis suffers a wrong way penetration," the study said.
We really can't make this stuff up. Be careful, guys.