Listen for just one goddamned second before you turn your brain off and start scrolling through Vine again. These Thom Browne chinos are the greatest pair of pants to ever grace this sad piece of dust flying through space. In a competition to see what thing matters least in the universe, these pants lost. Meaning, that they actually won. Just look at them. Are there people who think the Thom Browne tri-color grosgrain or the four stripes are tacky? If such a person exists, they are not my friend and never will be. Here's the thing about these pants: They're chinos. They aren't trousers. No, they're stiff, rigid cotton pants crafted in Japan and can take a beating. How do I know this from just looking at pictures? I don't. But I tried them on last weekend in person as I sometimes leave the blue glow of my computer monitor for special occasions, and was almost legally forced to purchase them based on the bodily fluids excreted from my orifices. Clear enough picture for you? I could go on, but I supposed I'll stop here for the sake of your no vomiting on yourself. Sure, gasp at the $600 price tag like the worthless, cobbled together example of existence you are. Or, instead, you could buy them and up your self-worth multiple iotas. Sorry for yelling.
