Meet Mason Ho, pro surfer and major league stoner. While shooting for the upcoming documentary Wave Of The Winter, Ho waxed poetic on what the perfect winter wave would look like, and the results were, to say the least, absolutely fucking incredible. Essentially his perfect wave consists of a bunch of nonsense we don't really understand and grabbing a girl's ass, but I'll be damned if this shit isn't the funniest thing you'll watch all day. This dude essentially talks like a parody of a surfer bro doing a parody of a surfer bro and is a hero and a legend and should be honored by generations to come. To be honest, we want to move to Hawaii right now just to be boys with this bro monster and hit a little bit of that loud he's holding. Anyway, here are a few of sweg takeaways from Mason's rant, but we still highly recommend watching it to glean a few of your own:

1. Fuck what you heard, "gnarly" is still a genuine thing people say.

2. Sometimes, having a shorter piece of wood is preferable.

3. Boogie board chix = bae.

4. Boogie board chix with dat ass tho = also bae.

5. Underwater make out sessions are an integral part of surfing.

6. Always make a strong exit.