DAMN, PATRIK ERVELL, I WISH I HAD BOUGHT THIS FORMAL SHIRT FOR NEW YEAR’S EVE. Instead, I wore the same thing I wear every day and almost missed midnight because I was at this party where they were too cool for Carson Daly. HOW DO YOU COUNT DOWN TO THE NEW YEAR IF SOME OLD DUDE WHO WAS ON TV WHEN YOU WERE IN HIGH SCHOOL ISN’T REMINDING YOU OF YOUR MORTALITY? I’m not even totally convinced it’s actually 2014. Right, this is called a formal shirt, but I would wear it to decidedly informal events because that’s how you dress shit down. If you ever want to become an associate editor at some website you have to learn how to dress shit down, homie.