A Frat Bro Sent a Hilarious Email With Ridiculous Fashion Advice to All the Other Frat Bros

A Frat Bro Sent a Hilarious Email With Ridiculous Fashion Advice to All the Other Frat BrosImage via Ivy Style

With their tank tops, flip-flops, croakies, and beer-stained pastel polos, who knew that frat bros were so concerned with fashion? Business Insider was tipped off to an email that was making the rounds at Emory University, in which a frat's "apparel chair" criticizes his bros for their sense of style and offers ridiculous advice. After promising a weekly email with dos and don'ts, the email launches into a trend breakdown that includes "Statement Scarves" and "Earthy Tones" and advice on how to dress well. 

Seriously, do yourself a favor and read the below email in its entirety:

Boys I hope you all had a fantastic break filled with family, friends, and a lack of worry. As you being your long or short trip back to campus I hope you take the time to read this.

You are poorly dressed.

I'm glad that is off my chest. Now as your apparel chair I realize this is a reflection of my poor performance, so, in order to combat this I have decided to begin a weekly fashion column for you choice men. You lucky bastards.

Anyways this column will include what is "hot stock" for the season, one designer you should definitely emulate, and more importantly, what NOT to wear. This should set you all on the correct path to being a frat fashionista, but in some of the more severe cases (I'm looking at you Liz) my door is always open to one-on-one advising. Before this e-mail gets any longer I'll start the column.

Fall 2013:

What is in this season? Glad you asked.

Earthy Tones: Can't go wrong with mama earth's natural beauty, or even plaid (Blake you are in luck). Extra points if you can incorporate Burgundy.

Cuffed Paints: whether blue denims or brown oxfords, roll 'em up boys. These will pair amazingly with that pair of high top sneakers you've wanted to hit mags with.

Statement Scarves: I know this one is a stretch for most of you that aren't Aris, but statement scarves can make your ensemble heat up as the temperatures drop.

Designer you want to be looking like: 

Japanese label, Talking About The Abstraction, just released their Spring/Summer lookbook, and boys, THIS IS HUGE. Start putting the spare change in the piggy bank if you want to look like a high roller. Link below, but remember, I am not liable for your computer's water damage when you begin to drool over the keyboard.

http://www.highsnobiety.com/2013/10/15/talking-about-the-abstraction-springsummer-2014-lookbook/

Try Again, Bro:

The final part of this column, and the most important, is what not to wear. One in particular has been bugging me so I'll just come out with it, dress pants need to be hemmed. When you are sporting formal wear the most important thing is not threadcount (sorry Jaffe), but FIT! So find a local tailor and clean it up. This message holds true even if you are going to a date party with that cute Theta or headed to that interview with Bain. But I am all about being constructive with my advice, so I'll give you an option to up your formal wear game...

Look sharp and keep the bank unbroken by putting on this J Crew Ludlow Suit

https://www.jcrew.come/AST/Navigation/theludlowsuit.jsp

Thanks for your time bros, I hope you take all of this to heart and make a concerted effort to look good, it'll go a long way, trust me.

Love & Respect,
Your Fratshionistau

RELATED: Phi Kappa Tau "Teaches" Brothers How to Talk to Girls

[via Business Insider]

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