In case you were one of the few dozen sex criminals/pathetic men who head to the strip club to try and bust a nut, Liquid Lapdance has finally created the product meant for you. There aren't any pictures that detail what the product looks like, but the invention is essentially something you wear in place of underwear that will enable you you jizz when you get a lap dance.
If you're confused, and want to be even more confused, this NSFW video both explains nothing and everything at the same time. And if you're still hesitant, feel peace of mind with their "World Famous Orgasm Guarantee." No orgasm? No problem! You'll get a full refund for your blue balls.
So how, exactly, does Liquid Lapdance work? Again, kinda vague, but here are the benefits the site promises:
2. They provide you with the space to get fully-erect. Most underwear is not designed to be worn when you're rock hard. Ours is. Expand in comfort.
If you have any questions about this revolutionary product, you can always call their customer service manager Reg, who's "tested Liquid Lapdance hundreds—maybe even thousands—of times.
Do you really, actually still have your doubts about this portable dream/cum-catcher? Instantly change your mind by reading these these disgusting customer reviews:
"Imagine a pair of oiled titties bouncing up and down your cock."
Get yours now, and be sure to leave a detailed review. Reg will surely thank you.
[via Jezebel]
