Team: San Francisco 49ers
Dresses like: A Saudi oil prince's weed carrier 

Is this guy going to the ESPYs or working valet at LIV Nightclub? Having led the 49ers to the Super Bowl in a breakout season last year, Colin Kaepernik’s coke dream became a reality and now he’s going to lambaste the haters with ostentatious suit jackets for infinity. We blame Russell Westbrook for this kind of passive aggressive fashion fuckery. Started from the bottom, now you’re here. Every chick that passed on you in high school is riddled with regret. Your rental car matches your suit jacket. We get it.