I love Eddie Huang. I think he’s funny, observant and he makes a mean charsui bao. (Grandma, if you’re reading this, his still aren’t better than yours, swearsies). BUT SERIOUSLY, WHERE WAS HE IN, LIKE, 1990 WHEN BRYAN CUNNINGHAM WAS TRYING TO BEAT ME UP FOR BRINGING AN EGG TART AND A BAO TO LUNCH? OR WHEN EVERY FUCKING YEAR MY GODDAMN TEACHERS WOULD MAKE ME TEACH THE CLASS ABOUT CHINESE NEW YEAR? I DON’T ASK YOU TO EXPLAIN TEVAS, DO I?

Eddie's story really resonates with me. We’re around the same age, both went to law school, etc., etc. The only difference is that I’m half-Chinese and he’s super successful. But feeling like you’re never Asian enough or never really American enough either is something we've both experienced. I happened to grow up in a town that just had a Mazda plant open like a year before I was born, in what was prior to that an exclusively Ford and Chrysler factory town. That went real well. MOTHERFUCKERS ALWAYS THOUGHT I WORKED AT THE SUSHI SPOT OR THAT MY DAD WAS TAKING THEIR DAD’S JOB. FUCK YOU, MIDDLE AMERICA BECAUSE WE OUT HERE. WE MADE IT AND WE DON’T GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOU THINK.

That’s how I always initially react to Eddie Huang. He just gets you amped to be yourself, nah mean? Like goth kids and goth ninja kids and gay kids and gay goth ninja kids and weird kids that really like Harry Potter can all relate to not fitting in and not understanding why they don’t fit in, which is why Eddie just makes sense to so many people. But on the really real though, I'm gonna blame him for all my white friends correcting me on pronouncing Asian food and asking me if I’ve ever been to Vanessa’s Dumplings in NYC and if I like scallion pancakes and bubble tea and shit. YOU MADE FUN OF ME FOR BUILDING GUNDAMS AND NOW YOU JACK OFF TO THAT SHIT BECAUSE KANYE WEST WAS LIKE, “HARAJUKU IS SO COOL”. GET YOUR FUCKING EMOJIS OUT MY FACE, YA BISH. Y'ALL STILL DON’T KNOW A GODDAMN THING ABOUT THE ASIAN SQUAT. EAT SOME REALLY GROSS SHIT AND GET BACK TO ME.