As a child you were big and misunderstood. When you played pee-wee football you had a stripe on your helmet and always had to block for the smaller kids. You had sideburns before a single kid in class had a pube, and believe it or not, that wasn't a virtue. Now as a grown-up you live in an area with an abundance of Sasquatch sightings, though, you never seem to see the creature yourself. Life as a gigantic lurch isn't all bad. Getting notes slapped on your back that said "Frankenstein" as a youth were worth it because chicks dig height.

Now you're tapping dimes that are notches above your pay grade, you dominate the rec league through sheer ownership of the paint and, best of all, little kids ask you for help when their cats are stuck in a tree.