The 10 Most Anticipated Baseball Stories of the Summer

4. What Other Evil People Does Ozzie Guillen Love?

The Marlins new skipper got himself a five-game suspension and nearly a pink slip at the beginning of the season for saying that he loved and respected Fidel Castro a.k.a. the most hated non zombie cannibal in South Florida. The famously opinionated skipper put himself on free-talking suspension for a few weeks, but has started to revert to form again recently, including calling out Miami Heat hero Dwyane Wade for getting into an on-court argument with his coach. As the summer warms up in Miami and the bath salts start flowing, will Ozzie go off again?

The Complex Crystal Ball Says... Ozzie said he respected Castro's staying power, what other despots might he admire? Genghis Khan is said to have 16 million contemporary descendants, perhaps Ozzie's a fan of Khan's proclivity for war rape? Kim Jong Il stayed in power despite crippling economic troubles by simply allocating all of his country's resources toward the military, maybe Oz likes Kim's approach to making tough budgetary decisions? Or—and he should be kicked out of the sport Pete Rose-style if he ever says something this awful—Guillen actually thinks Bud Selig has been a positive influence on baseball?

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