If you've got Chad Ochocinco on your fantasy football team right now, we've got some news for you: You're not going to win your league. Seriously, you've got no shot. Oh, and the other players in your league are probably laughing at you right now. That being said, Ocho still thinks he deserves a spot on your roster. Yesterday, he offered up a hilarious reason for why you shouldn't trade him—or, better yet, drop him—just yet if you've still got him buried on your bench.

"If I'm on ur fantasy team," he wrote on his Facebook wall, "don't trade me. I always start slow. I didn't lose my virginity until my senior yr. I kept trying so stick with me."

LOLz. That almost—almost!—just made us want to pick Ocho up. And then we realized that he still doesn't even have 10 catches on the season yet. Maybe next week, Chad... [via Boxden]