Hallelujah! Thank God! Praise Jesus! Tim Tebow, the Bible-beating star quarterback of the national champion Florida Gators, is stiff-arming the NFL to play his senior season! After God willed UF to win the Bowl Championship Series title game against the Oklahoma Sooners last Thursday, Tebow, a two-time national champion and the first player to win the Heisman Trophy as a sophomore, could have said, "Later Gators! God wants me to get paid in the pros!" Instead, he's staying in school, ostensibly to compete for back-to-back titles and graduate.
Complex knows there was much more to his decision than the desire to get an education and get his Gators another championship. Read on for the five reasons we think Tim Tebow is really returning to the college ranks...
• ESPN's Erin Andrews, the hottest female sports reporter in the game, is a onetime member of Florida's basketball dance team "the Dazzlers" and remains a huge Gator fan. She doesn't cover pro football, though, so the only way Tebow can soak in her sunny Florida fanaticism and share a mic with her is to keep playing college.
• Not content to merely believe in God, Tebow wants to spread his faith to others. Hey, did you know that he spent last summer as a missionary converting Filipino heathens? Did you also know that he writes biblical passages like "John 3:16" on his eye black so fanboys and girls will Google the meaning? (It's either that or the time he wants his jumpoff John to roll through for a booty call.) College'where impressionable individuals go to accept Christ as their savior and/or be pressured into doing keg stands and gangbanging the offensive line!
• Tebow is a star and a threat at the collegiate level because he can throw (kind of) and run (well enough for a white boy). While this makes him excellent in college, all it means in the pro ranks is he'll be one of the most athletic water boys the NFL has ever seen.
• While Tebow is college football's biggest star, nobody is touching his DD-licious chick. But what happens when he's a third-string fullback and nobody cares about what he did against college boys who hadn't started regular steroid cycles? You can bet his NFL teammates will run blitzes at those breasteses all day and, despite all Tebow's talk about faith and fidelity, that chick is getting sacked for a loss.
• Right now, Tebow couldn't get any hotter. Figuratively, he's the biggest thing in college football. Literally, he plays in steamy Gainesville, Florida, where the two's are out year round. When he goes pro, there's a good chance he'll end up warming a bench in a blistering cold outpost somewhere. You try keeping water at the perfect temperature for teammates when it's 30 degrees below zero.