It's really nice of fictional parents to go out of town the first weekend after school starts back up. If they didn't have these pressing business trips or impromptu getaways, there would be nowhere for their poor kids to drink and experiment sexually.

There are worlds like Freaks and Geeks where parents don't go out of town and the main characters aren't cool enough to experiment sexually. In these instances, you have to move the homecoming dance way up in the calendar as a placeholder for the party. At these parties, underage drinking is both condemned and glorified. Yes, girls are in their underwear and the drinking games look really fun, but a guy will puke or a girl will pass out so that the Christian right can look on with approval.

And with that, you're ready to go write your own teen drama pilot. Before you get started "Come Sail Away" to the greatest/most awkward school dance scene in TV pilot history, courtesy of, that's right, Freaks and Geeks.