Beware the bottle of moisturizer that comes from an admirer—it might actually be semen. A Chinese man has been forced to pay $300 in damages for trying to win a woman over with a bottle of sperm. Because unsolicited sperm is the way to every woman's heart.
Despite noticing that the fluid didn't smell like face cream, 19-year-old Zeng Lin rubbed most of it on her body. Her roommate would later confirm and break the unfortunate news to her. Her secret admirer, Gou Wen, apologized for his actions, saying that he simply wanted to show how special she was to him.
"I love her so much but she didn't know it and I didn't know how to tell her...so I did that thinking it was the ultimate way to show love," he reportedly said. Someone please teach him how to court a woman. He's since acknowledged that his actions were wrong, but still promises to win Zeng over.