"Jersey Shore" Recap: Ronnie, Of All People, Plays Therapist To Housemates! WTF!

"Jersey Shore" Recap: Ronnie, Of All People, Plays Therapist To Housemates! WTF!

Ronnie Helps Mike "Man Up" And Helps Snooki With Relationship Problems

Because, as we all know, Ronnie is definitely the most qualified to give relationship advice. 

We kid, we kid. Actually, Ronnie had some pretty wise words for Snooks and Mike. We're sort of impressed.

Anyway, the episode opens with Mike, who's still in a neck brace, moaning and groaning (sounds we never wanted to hear, thanks MTV) on the patio, complaining about how his neck hurts. He proceeds to mill about the house, moping and croaking in pain some more, prompting Pauly and Vinny to wear his neckbrace around on the camera later and admonish him for being "f**king dramatic." Even Jenni and Ronnie have opinions about Mike's behavior, collectively agreeing that he's being pathetic and milking this whole "injury" thing for all it's worth. 

Finally, Ronnie, who we never thought we'd actually be happy to see give advice to someone, decides to approach Sitch and tell him, more or less, to "man up." Sitch, who's been mulling over leaving Italy (like he'd ever) because he's just in that much pain, decides that Ronnie's advice seems logical and proceeds to take off the neck brace he probably hasn't needed for days. His neck doesn't snap or anything, so it's a success, and just like that Sitch is back in business. 

Finally. It was getting a little tough to make fun of an injured dude—we've got some class, y'know?

Oh, and just an observation: When did they start blurring out the label on Abercrombie clothes that Mike wears (see right)? No more adverstising for you, A&F!

Later, we begin to see what we can only expect is the start of a few episode's worth of relationship problems between Snooki and Jionni. Up until now, it's seemed like things were all hunkydory between the lovebirds, but recently it's been displayed that Snooks and Jionni are very different people and, sometimes, that doesn't work out too well for them.

When Ronnie repeatedly hears Snooki fighting with Jionni on the phone and sees her looking sad thereafter, he takes it upon himself to whip out what psychiatry techniques he knows and help Snooks figure out her relationship. Surprisingly, as mentioned above, he does give decent advice. When Snooki admits to feeling like she has to hold herself back around Jionni lest he grow irritated with her, Ronnie immediately instructs her, "Don't change yourself for someone else. Take it from me." Then he says something weird about Nutella on toes that we didn't quite understand or want to understand. Well, he made a good attempt while it lasted.

This theme of Ronnie helping Snooks out carries on throughout most of the episode, coming to a head around the end when Snooki returns home, drunk after a night of clubbing, and phones Jionni because she misses him. They end up fighting when she says something that censors had to bleep out, and Ronnie proceeds to take the phone and tell Jionni that Snooki loves him and misses him. Jionni more or less tells him to "f**k off" and give the phone back to Snooki. Ron begrudgingly does, but it's clear that he and the rest of the roommates are worried about this seemingly new development in her relationship.

Pauly D And Vinny Finally Did Something This Week!

Is this reality? Or just a dream?

We've been waiting so long for Pauly and Vinny to get stuff to do, and it seems like this week someone was listening! Or they read our recap! Though they both still don't have actual storylines, their appearances in this episode were the best parts, hands down, so we'll just take what we've been given with a grin.

First, Pauly and Vinny decide that, even though they're totally guidos, they're not the stereotype of guidos, which technically we can kind of agree with since it seems like after Jersey Shore began airing, the stereotype became more of a caricature then it ever was before. So, naturally, Vinny and Pauly decide to dress themselves up as stereotypes of their stereotypes, and jump around fist-pumping and wearing lots of tracksuits. "You're like every guy I've ever dated," Jenni admits at one point during their routine.

In addition, Vinny may have also saved the world. For real. He might have actually made a difference.

He tamed a classic Ron and Sam fight.

It went like this: Ron and Sam spend most of their time in this episode working together to fix up their issues. Unfortunately, the way they fix up their issues tends to be loud and verbally abusive. Understandably, most of the roommates are really over their drama, just like we are, and we imagine the rest of the world is too. So, Vinny, ever the brave soul, approaches the couple while they are mid "discussion," treading softly like a trainer attempting to tame a lion, and gently explains to them both that if they are going to fight, they should do it elsewhere because they're really buggin' everyone out.

Somehow, this gets through to them, because they agree not to fight anymore. When Vinny thanks them and leaves, Sam tells Ron that she thinks she can change for the better and they agree to give their relationship one last go (GODDAMNIT). They spend the rest of the episode mostly quietly making out.

Deena And Snooki Accidentally Fight

It wouldn't be Jersey Shore without some sort of fight up in the club at some point, so it's good that one finally happened. Deena gets into a bit of a tiff with some girls, which forces Snooks to step in because she's a protective friend and all that. When Deena gets a drink thrown at her face, Snooki charges like an angry banshee or something, and suddenly it's a flurry of hair extensions flying around and fake nails being tossed about. It isn't until someone begins yelling Snooki and Deena's names that it's apparent that the two friends have accidentally been fighting each other instead of the other girls involved in the fight. They laugh it off later, obviously, and all is still well between the two self-proclaimed "meatballs."

Are Snooki and Jionni the New Ron and Sam?

It certainly is starting to look that way, with the amount of fighting that seems to be going on between them, not to mention that everyone is beginning to get involved in the relationship now. Jenni, Sammi, Deena, and Ronnie all admit to Snooks that they think Jionni is doing her wrong and being an ass, but Snooki is in denial, according to Jenni, so she doesn't listen and says that no one sees how good he is to her.

With Jionni coming to Italy in the next few episodes, we guess we'll just have to wait and see on that, won't we?

Best Quotes of the Episode

"Can you cover your body please, when you come in front of the church?" "Shut up! Asshole." —A priest and Snooki, respectively

"God likes my tits. God made my tits!" "...God didn't make mine." —Snooki and JWoww, respectively

"Like, 'I want you to put Nutella on my toes and suck them right now, Jionni,'" —Ronnie, dictating to Snooki what she should say to her boyfriend next time they talk

"Yo, I look like them guidos on TV, that are trying too hard...." —Pauly D, exhibiting how self-aware he really is

"The boys keep talking about 'track suit costumes,' and I'm like, 'That's not a costume...that's normal clothes." —Deena gets it, though.

Tags: snooki, pauly-d, the-situation, jwoww, jersey-shore, mtv, reality-tv
blog comments powered by Disqus