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This past week, Obama made some controversial waves after deciding not to prosecute Bush's masterminds of torture, despite releasing incriminating memos that detailed their illegal interrogation tactics. But the streets wanna know: Is the president our American Mandela, taking the wise high-road of reconciliation? Or is he merely a typical agent of political bitchassness—too shook to actually punish corrupt officials? Let's look at some of the different arguments floating around...


5. SEAN HANNITY, Fox News
• Shockingly, Sean's not buying into all the hoopla surrounding the enemies of freedom. Torture schmorture. Here, he actually offers to be waterboarded himself for charity. Make checks payable to Walter Reed Army Medical Facility, asshole.

4. MIKE GUY, Playboy
• Before opining on torture accusations, Playboy journalist, Mike Guy, underwent 15 seconds of waterboarding to see if it lived up to all the hype. No he's not some sort of twisted sado masochist, but rather an empirical researcher. The result: "Hated it!"


3. PEGGY NOONAN, Wall Street Journal
• For Peggy, bad PR is torture. Here she expresses her sheer annoyance with the release of the memos. OMG, human rights are soooooo 2008.


2. SHEPARD SMITH, Fox News
• Shepard's been trying to dig himself out of the creepy dark corners of right-wing propagandists. In this clip, he drops the f-bomb while confronting some sadistic proponents of coerced interrogation. It's about f*ck!ng time.


1. MOVEON.ORG, Commercial
• In response to Obama's cordiality, the left-wing political action committee, MoveOn.org, released this commercial demanding accountability. Call me biased, but I co-sign.