#NewRules: The Real Rules of Rap in 2013

Jay-Z's right. There are new rules for rap. Are you ready to obey?

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Image via Complex Original
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Recently, Jay-Z took to twitter and announced some "#NewRules" about the rap game.

Where did he come up with these "new rules"? Need you even ask? Illuminati headquarters, of course. We were interested in learning what other order might be coming down the pike, so we sent a hummingbird drone in through their windows and discovered some VERY INTERESTING information. Get ready for the New World Order. These are the #NewRules: The Real Rules of Rap in 2013.

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#NewRule: All rap vocals must be recorded through autotune.

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#NewRule: All rap videos must recieve a rating of at least "XXX" by the Motion Picture Association of America.

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#NewRule: Rappers are exempt from paying taxes.

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#NewRule: If someone is being beaten on camera, whip out your phone and yell "Worldstar!"

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#NewRule: Rap fans must constantly determine who is "saving" rap and who is "destroying" it.

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#NewRule: Rappers are to clear all song lyrics, public statements, fashion choices, and travel plans with corporate sponsors' PR depertaments at least two weeks in advance.

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#NewRule: Racism is bad, unless it's against Asians.

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#NewRule: All new music is to be released on the Internet between the hours of 2 AM and 4 AM, when it is most inconvenient for the Complex news writing staff.

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#NewRule: Rappers should always read their press, and act all aggy about it on a public stage if they don't like it.

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#NewRule: The best person to manage a rapper's music career is definitely a close childhood friend or neighborhood dope boy.

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#NewRule: All rap albums or mixtapes must contain at least three snippets of dialogue from the movie Scarface.

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#NewRule: The best rap journalism is about trawling for pageviews with endless numbered lists.

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#NewRule: Up-and-coming rap artists must harrass at least twenty innocent strangers a day by sending them struggle raps over Twitter.

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#NewRule: Everything was better in the '90s.

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#NewRule: Rappers' success is based on Illuminati membership.

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#NewRule: All rappers are required to dickride the five most popular rappers at a given time and steadfastly refrain from criticizing them.

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#NewRule: Rap fans are to express shock and outrage if someone likes a different style or region of rap music than they do.

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#NewRule: If any rapper's name includes an "S," it must be replaced with a dollar $ign.

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#NewRule: Rappers are required to serve as an advertising and marketing wing for the pharmaceutical industry.

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