Everything is too good to be true.
Last Friday seemed like any other day; "Born to Die" was still in heavy rotation on my computer and I was just like, "Is it time to drink yet?"
Then the new Destiny's Child track dropped via Mashable and we froze. In an office filled with plenty of men, it was exciting to hear "Nuclear" blasting from computers besides my own. DC broke up in 2005 which meant no more matching outfits, the loss of the last (also: best) female R&B/pop trio was done. It was okay because Beyoncé would come out with new music, marry Jay-Z, and prance around in front of a flaming car. We all took a big sigh like all was right in the world. But what Destiny's Child meant to music was, and always will be, significant. They were flawless, they could sing, and they could really fucking dance.
"Nuclear" could have been the worst song of the year and everyone would still have listened to it—but it wasn't. The intro vaguely reminded me of "Gospel Medley" off Survivor. Michelle, Kelly and Beyoncé still kill it vocally.
The same can't be said for Justin Timberlake. Late Sunday night, JT made his comeback after seven years out of music. "Suit & Tie" isn't his best work, but it matters. "I be on my suit and tie shit." When you write it out, isn't impressive, but he still fucking has it. His voice is smooth over the soulful beat. Yes, it sounds a little like Robin Thicke. If it didn't, Robin Thicke wouldn't have been trending on Twitter the day it dropped. Jay-Z's feature solidifed the strategic, and well-made moves JT has had in his career.
This is a former boy band member who we watched, and loved, in N'Sync even when he had bleached tips, wore metallic suits, and had ombré sunglasses. It doesn't even feel corny to be proud that I sat third row at the No Strings Attached tour with a crop top and tattoo necklace on, crying when Justin hit the stage. He's never failed. As a single, "Suit & Tie" isn't phenomenal, but JT making new music is.
Juelz Santana making new music threw everyone for a loop. We haven't heard anything from him in years, and yet he popped up on Monday with God Will'n. The features are incredible—Lil Wayne, Rick Ross, Meek Mill, Fabolous, Wiz Khalifa, Lloyd Banks, Future, and Jeremih. Juelz knows he can stand up lyrically against the best of them, and we're thankful that creative funk is dead and gone. He must be, too:
Wednesday was just,
And then "My Boo" starts blasting and I think, "Dang, I haven't heard this in a while." Then I immediately start thinking of how I held hands with a boy and skated to this at Rainbow Roller Rink in Tonawanda, NY at my third grade birthday party. But who didn't want to be at that So So Def beach party in the music video? Long before the day that Jessica Simpson had that crazy Dukes of Hazzard car wash scene, we watched the Ghost Town DJs paint their nails and dance around a Land Rover with soap and a hose. Thank you.
But that's beside the point. SO SO DEF IS BACK. Jermaine Dupri, Jagged Edge, Da Brat, Dondria, Fresco Kane, and Bow Wow on Game's "Celebration" was unexpected. Hearing Da Brat spit, "Popped a molly, I'm on vacation, woo!" was beautiful. After her stint in jail, we heard her and Jermaine Dupri on that "Look At Me Now" remix, but this is different. This is the return of So So Def. Da Brat could have, and possibly did, take the route that Nicki Minaj is being criticized for right now—she had some pop-rap hits. "What Chu Like" with Tyrese is one. Remy Ma is in jail and Lil Kim did some weird shit to her face and then released a tasteless diss album at Nicki, complete with a bloody cover but now Da Brat has made herself relevant again, even if just for a bit. But the return of Kriss Kross is just unbelievable. What do they even sound like now? How will they wear their pants? OK, jokes are played out. But "Jump" was 21 years ago. 21 years!
After revisiting a long lineage of So So Def hits, up pops someone reminding me that Future dropped his latest mixtape, FBG: The Movie. With a song featuring Sisqo. This could turn into an entire rant about why we are all really lucky to be living in a world where Future makes music, but instead, we'll focus on Sisqo. This week has been nothing but a revival of the memories of frosted tips, but we will be OK.
The last track on the mixtape, "See It To Believe" is on some R. Kelly "The World's Greatest" type shit with an inspirational hook and hearing Sisqo's crescendo on it gave me damn near goosebumps. Thank you, Future. And welcome back, Sisqo.
The day isn't even over and Master P drops Al Capone. The braggadocio, mafia-influenced mixtape showcased that the No Limit God was ready for his comeback, too. Maybe this was expected after he dropped "It Don't Make No Sense" with Chief Keef and Fat Trel earlier this month. Either way, some of the music actually sounds surprising dope so it's nice to have him back, too.
It's possible we're hyping the week up, now. But it's exciting that the biggest entertainers of our formative years all chose the same week to make serious comebacks. It's refreshing to see that most—if not all—of the aforementioned artists can still succeed, and garner attention, years after their greatest hits. It gives me faith that one day, my grandchildren will appreciate the sound of Future's crooning, Auto-Tuned voice as much as I hope, and anticipate, that they will.
But for now, Lil Romeo:
We're waiting on you.