Autographing A Newborn Baby

"One woman walked up to me at a meet-and-greet with a baby who couldn’t have been any older than one year old, and she goes, ‘Sign this.’ I signed her paper, I signed her CD, and she’s like, ‘Could you sign my baby?’ And I’m like, ‘Why?’ She’s like, ‘I don’t know, I just want you to sign my baby! Would you please?’ She’s begging me to sign her baby. I’m like, ‘Alright.’ I signed the baby’s arm. I felt bad about it afterwards. It was with a sharpie.

"It's a little strange to sign a baby. I once signed a prosthetic limb. If a person walks up to you with a prosthetic limb, you can’t say no! You can’t turn that person down. I don’t like signing money like, if people walk up to me with a hundred dollar bill, I don’t like that because that could be used for something. 

"I really don’t like signing flesh because you take a shower and it’s gone. What’s the purpose? Let me sign something that you can hold on to. There was a girl in London who I signed her arm, and sure enough, she went and got it tattooed and hit me on Twitter. She actually hits me on Twitter every day. She is invested, indeed.”