#1. Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five "Scorpio"
I have a friend who used to do aerobics with her mother to this song.
According to Scorpio himself, it was inspired by a Rick James stomach
ache, a sexual encounter under a piano, and his "all-around freakiness."
I first heard it when my best friend suffered a near-fatal asthma attack
and barfed green on our front porch. You don't forget these things.