Will wear a less silly hat for work.
Bailouts, layoffs, bank failings'yeah we'd heard the economy sucks right now but we didn't believe it until we woke up today and heard the rumors that Jermaine Dupri has been fired from his job as the head of urban music at Island/Def Jam (we refuse to believe his dismissal had anything to do with his business acumen). Can breadlines and Wall Street types hopping off buildings be far behind? Somebody confiscate Q the Kid's shoelaces, stat!
But luckily for JD, he's a multi-talented dude and he should have no problem transitioning into a variety of careers until the next Kris Kross comes around. But just in case, we've got a few job suggestions for him...
LIVE ACTION AMUSEMENT PARK RIDE SIGN
• You must be this tall to ride this rollercoaster. And don't think you're gonna slip by in those elevator Jordans.
• There's a huge cottage industry in teaching guys to seduce women; JD definitely knows a little something about dating above his level.
IRS REPO MAN
• Back in 2002 Dupri had a bunch of his cars repo'ed, so he should be able to handle the task with care and sensitivity.
FOOT LOCKER MANAGER
• Although potential employers should be careful he doesn't try to lace Hot Dollar and J-Kwon with his employee discount.
MACY'S SANTA CLAUS
• No elf jokes, please.